书城外语英文爱藏:爱只有0.01的距离
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第30章 以爱之名 (3)

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2. 友谊很快便在我们之间建立了。

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3. 当这些事情发生时,我们就要回到最初的地方——交流、解决冲突和奉献,然后再开始。

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短语应用

1. The Nelsons focused on the “three Cs”— communication...

focus on:关注

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2. We began to recognize the layers of hurt...

begin to do:开始;开始做……

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你应该知道的男人秘密

Do You Really Understand Men?

佚名 / Anonymous

It is a fact that young men are more romantic than young women. Young men fall in love at the drop of a hat. Young women, on the other hand, are much more pragmatic when it comes to choosing marriage partners. Men consider that being with their partners is sufficient to express their love. Whereas women consider a man romantic only if the word love is always on his lips.

Men attach more importance to marriage than women do, and there are fewer male celibates. Moreover, men find more satisfaction in marriage. A survey found that 87% of the men questioned said that if they married again they would choose the same partners, whereas 76% of the women questioned said the same.

Men feel pain, but they handle it in a different way from women. It is true that after divorce they will not lose control of themselves by crying bitterly, but they suffer more from stomach disorders, plunge into alcoholism and cause traffic accidents. Another survey found that divorced men can only overcome their emotional pain by means of physical exercise.

Men generally dislike admitting that they need other people. They regard admitting loneliness as weakness, as ridiculous and as an expression of a lack of manliness. The fact that men do not like to talk about loneliness does not mean that they never feel lonely. And men do have a good reason for avoiding the topic of loneliness, because they fear that others will usually look down on them. However, if a woman confides in someone that she is lonely, far from looking down on her, people will be very willing to help her.

Ninety-four percent of men wish to change their image. A study found that a man’ s self-esteem is often directly connected with his outward appearance. Thin and small men often regard themselves as punny and easily sink into depression.

Men generally think of themselves as decision-makers, and not as shoulders to cry on. So when a person pours out his or her troubles to a man, the latter hastens to give advice. It would be better if he simply lent a sympathetic ear.

青年男子实际上比青年女子更浪漫。年轻的男子爱上一个人很容易。年轻的女子正好相反,她们在选择婚姻的伴侣时更注重实际。男人们认为,和他们的伴侣在一起就是充分表达他们的爱。然而,女人们判断男人浪漫与否,需要看他是否将“爱”时常挂在嘴边。

男人比女人更注重婚姻。男性中的独身主义者要比女性中的少。而且,在婚姻生活中,男人能得到更多的满足。一项调查显示,被提问的男士当中有87%的人认为,如果可以重新结婚的话,他们还会选择自己现在的妻子,而只有76%的女士有这样的说法。

男人也有痛苦的感觉,只是他们的发泄方式不同于女人。事实上,在离异的时候,他们不会像女人那样感情失控,痛哭流涕,他们更多的是受肠胃功能紊乱的折磨,去喝酒,常引发交通事故。另一项调查表明,离异后的男人只能通过体育锻炼的方式,来排解感情上的痛苦。

通常,男人都不喜欢承认需要他人。他们认为承认孤独就是一种软弱,是一种可笑的举动,是一种缺乏刚毅的表现。男人不喜欢谈论孤独,但这并不意味着他们从不感觉孤单。对于孤独话题的逃避,男人的确有一个很好的理由:因为时常害怕会被人看不起。然而,如果一个女人向某人倾诉自己很孤独时,非但不会被人看不起,还会得到人们自愿的帮助。

有94%的男人希望自己的形象可以改变。一项研究表明,通常,男人的自尊心会与他的外在形象有直接的关系。瘦弱矮小的男人常常会认为自己很卑微,很容易变得意志消沉。

男人一般视自己为决策者,而不是倾听哭诉的对象。因此,一旦有人向他们吐露问题时,他们就会急忙给出建议。事实上,只要同情地去倾听就可以了。

心灵小语

男人和女人之间到底存在着多少奇妙,谁也说不清楚,可唯一确定的是,只有洞察男女之间的这些微妙的不同之处,才能和谐融洽地相处。

记忆填空

1. Men consider that being with their partners is sufficient to express their__ . Whereas____consider a man romantic only______ the word love is always on his lips.

2. Ninety-four____of men wish to change their image. A study found that a man’s self-esteem is____directly connected with his outward appearance. Thin and small men often regard____as punny and easily sink____ depression.

佳句翻译

1. 男人也有痛苦的感觉,只是他们的发泄方式不同于女人。

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2. 他们认为承认孤独就是一种软弱,是一种可笑的举动,是一种缺乏刚毅的表现。

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3. 男人一般视自己为决策者,而不是倾听哭诉的对象。

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短语应用

1. Young men fall in love at the drop of a hat.

fall in love:爱上某人;堕入爱河

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2. ...far from looking down on her.

look down on:看不起;蔑视;轻视;俯视

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爱情不是交易品

Love Is not Like Merchandise

佚名 / Anonymous

A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, “If I steal a nickel’s worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another’ s wife, I am free.”

This is a prevalent misconception in many people’s minds— that love, like merchandise, can be “stolen”. Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for “alienation of affections”.

But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.

When a husband or wife is “stolen” by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, and was already predisposed toward a new partner. The “love bandit”was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.

We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of children “belonging” to their parents. But nobody “belongs” to anyone else. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents’ trusteeship.

Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder — but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that “caused” the break, but the lack of a real relationship.

On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a “third party”. This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.