芭芭拉少校
Major Barbara
《芭芭拉少校》对军火商人运用血腥手段发财致富的无耻行径进行了尖锐的揭露和批判。剧本描写一个大资本家、大军火商安德谢夫的女儿芭芭拉参加了宗教慈善事业，在救世军里担任了少校的职位并要求她的父亲放弃军火制造，加入救世军以拯救自己的灵魂。但后来，她发现救世军原来是由她父亲这样的资本家出钱兴办的，她的幻想破灭了。
Act II
The yard of the West Ham shelter of the Salvation Army is a cold place on a January morning. The building itself，an old warehouse，is newly white washed. Its gabled end projects into the yard in the middle，with a door on the ground floor，and another in the loft above it without any balcony or ladder，but with a pulley rigged over it for hoisting sacks. Those who come from this central gable end into the yard have the gateway leading to the street on their left，with a stone horse-trough just beyond it，and，on the right，a penthouse shielding a table from the weather. There are forms at the table，and on them are seated a man and a woman，both much down on their luck，finishing a meal of bread (one thick slice each，with margarine and golden syrup) and diluted milk.
The man，a workman out of employment，is young，agile，a talker，a poser，sharp enough to be capable of anything in reason except honesty or altruistic considerations of any kind. The woman is a commonplace old bundle of poverty and hard-core humanity. She looks sixty and probably is forty-five. If they were rich people，gloved and muffed and even wrapped up in furs and overcoats，they would be numbed and miserable；for it is a grindingly cold，raw，January day；and a glance at the background of grimy warehouses and leaden sky visible over the whitewashed walls of the yard would drive any idle rich person straight to the Mediterranean. But these two，being no more troubled with visions of the Mediterranean than of the moon，and being compelled to keep more of their clothes in the pawnshop，and less on their persons，in winter than in summer，are not depressed by the cold，rather are they stung into vivacity，to which their meal has just now given an almost jolly turn. The man takes a pull at his mug，and then gets up and moves about the yard with his hands deep in his pockets，occasionally breaking into a stepdance.
The woman：Feel better arter your meal，sir？
The man：No. Call that a meal！Good enough for you，praps；but wot is it to me，an intelligent workin man.
The woman：Workin man！ Wot are you？
The man：Painter.
The woman：(skeptically) Yus，I dessay.
The man：Yus，you dessay！ I know. Every loafer that can’t do nothink calls itsaf a painter. Well，I’m a real painter：grainer，finisher，thirty-eight bob a week when I can get it.
The woman：Then why don’t you go and get it？
The man：I’ll tell you why. Fust：I’m intelligent—fffff！ it’s rotten cold here (He dances a step or two.) yes：intelligent beyond the station o life into which it has pleased the capitalists to call me；and they don’t like a man that sees through em. Second，an intelligent bein needs a doo share of appiness，so I drink somethink cruel when I get the chawnce. Third，I stand by my class and do as little as I can so’s to leave arf the job for me fellow workers. Fourth，I’m fly enough to know wots inside the law and wots outside it；and inside it I do as the capitalists do：pinch wot I can lay me ands on. In a proper state of society I am sober，industrious and honest：in Rome，so to speak，I do as the Romans do. Wots the consequence？ When trade is bad and it’s rotten bad just now and the employers az to sack arf their men，they generally start on me.
The woman：What’s your name？
The man：Price. Bronterre O’Brien Price. Usually called Snobby Price，for short.
The woman：Snobby’s a carpenter，ain’t it？ You said you was a painter.
Price：Not that kind of snob，but the genteel sort. I’m too uppish，owing to my intelligence，and my father being a Chartist and a reading，thinking man，a stationer，too. I’m none of your common hewers of wood and drawers of water；and don’t you forget it. (He returns to his seat at the table，and takes up his mug.) Wots your name？
The woman：Rummy Mitchens，sir.
Price：(quaffing the remains of his milk to her) Your elth，Miss Mitchens.
Rummy：(correcting him) Missis Mitchens.
Price：Wot！Oh Rummy，Rummy！Respectable married woman，Rummy，gittin rescued by the Salvation Army by pretendin to be a bad un. Same old game！
Rummy：What am I to do？I can’t starve. Them Salvation lasses is dear good girls；but the better you are，the worse they likes to think you were before they rescued you. Why shouldn’t they av a bit o credit，poor loves？ They’re worn to rags by their work. And where would they get the money to rescue us if we was to let on we’re no worse than other people？ You know what ladies and gentlemen are.
Price：Thievin swine！ Wish I ad their job，Rummy，all the same. Wot does Rummy stand for？ Pet name praps？
Rummy：Short for Romola.
Price：For wot！？
Rummy：Romola. It was out of a new book. Somebody me mother wanted me to grow up like.
Price： We’re companions in misfortune，Rummy.Both on us got names that nobody cawnt pronounce. Consequently I’m Snobby and you’re Rummy because Bill and Sally wasn’t good enough for our parents. Such is life！
Rummy：Who saved you，Mr. Price？ Was it Major Barbara？
Price：No：I come here on my own. I’m goin to be Bronterre O’Brien Price，the converted painter. I know wot they like. I’ll tell em how I blasphemed and gambled and wopped my poor old mother—
Rummy：(shocked) Used you to beat your mother？
Price：Not likely. She used to beat me. No matter：you come and listen to the converted painter，and you’ll hear how she was a pious woman that taught me prayers at her knee，an how I used to come home drunk and drag her out o bed be er snow white airs，an lam into er with the poker.
Rummy：That’s what’s so unfair to us women. Your confessions is just as big lies as ours：you don’t tell what you really done no more than us；but you men can tell your lies right out at the meetins and be made much of for it；while the sort o confessions we az to make az to be whispered to one lady at a time. It ain’t right，spite of all their piety.
Price：Right！ Do you spose the Army ’d be allowed if it went and did right？ Not much. It combs our air and makes us good little blokes to be robbed and put upon. But I’ll play the game as good as any of em. I’ll see somebody struck by lightnin，or hear a voice sayin“Snobby Price：where will you spend eternity？ ”I’ll ave a time of it，I tell you.
Rummy：You won’t be let drink，though.
Price：I’ll take it out in gorspellin，then. I don’t want to drink if I can get fun enough any other way.(Jenny Hill，a pale，overwrought，pretty Salvation lass of 18，comes in through the yard gate，leading Peter Shirley，a half hardened，half worn-out elderly man，weak with hunger.)
Jenny：(supporting him) Come！Pluck up. I’ll get you something to eat. You’ll be all right then.
Price：(rising and hurrying officiously to take the old man off Jenny’s hands) Poor old man！ Cheer up，brother：you’ll find rest and peace and appiness ere. Hurry up with the food，miss：e’s fair done. (Jenny hurries into the shelter.) Ere，buck up，daddy！ she’s fetchin y’a thick slice o breadn treacle，an a mug o skyblue.(He seats him at the corner of the table. )
Rummy：(gaily) Keep up your old art！ Never say die！
Shirley：I’m not an old man. I’m ony 46. I’m as good as ever I was. The grey patch come in my hair before I was thirty. All it wants is three pennorth o hair dye：am I to be turned on the streets to starve for it？Holy God！ I’ve worked ten to twelve hours a day since I was thirteen，and paid my way all through；and now am I to be thrown into the gutter and my job given to a young man that can do it no better than me because I’ve black hair that goes white at the first change？
Price：(cheerfully) No good jawrin about it. You’re ony a jumped-up，jerked-off，orspittle-turned-out incurable of an ole workin man：who cares about you？ Eh？ Make the thievin swine give you a meal：they’ve stole many a one from you. Get a bit o your own back. (Jenny returns with the usual meal.)There you are，brother. Awsk a blessin an tuck that into you.
Shirley：(looking at it ravenously but not touching it，and crying like a child) I never took anything before.
Jenny：(petting him) Come，come！ the Lord sends it to you：he wasn’t above taking bread from his friends；and why should you be？ Besides，when we find you a job you can pay us for it if you like.
Shirley：(eagerly) Yes，yes：that’s true. I can pay you back： it’s only a loan.(shivering) Oh Lord！oh Lord！ (He turns to the table and attacks the meal ravenously.)
Jenny：Well，Rummy，are you more comfortable now？
Rummy：God bless you，lovey！ You’ve fed my body and saved my soul，haven’t you？(Jenny，touched，kisses her.) Sit down and rest a bit：you must be ready to drop.
Jenny：I’ve been going hard since morning. But there’s more work than we can do.I mustn’t stop.
Rummy：Try a prayer for just two minutes. You’ll work all the better after.
Jenny：(her eyes lighting up) Oh isn’t it wonderful how a few minutes prayer revives you！I was quite lightheaded at twelve o’clock，I was so tired；but Major Barbara just sent me to pray for five minutes；and I was able to go on as if I had only just begun，(to Price)Did you have a piece of bread？
Price：(with unction) Yes，miss；but I’ve got the piece that I value more；and that’s the peace that passeth hall hannerstennin.
Rummy：(fervently) Glory Hallelujah！
(Bill Walker，a rough customer of about 25，appears at the yard gate and looks malevolently at Jenny. )
Jenny：That makes me so happy. When you say that，I feel wicked for loitering here.I must get to work again. (She is hurrying to the shelter，when the newcomer moves quickly up to the door and intercepts her. His manner is so threatening that she retreats as he comes at her truculently，driving her do on the yard. )
Bill：I know you. You’re the one that took away my girl. You’re the one that set er agen me. Well，I’m goin to av er out. Not that I care a curse for her or you：see？ But I’ll let er know；and I’ll let you know. I’m goin to give er a doin that’ll teach er to cut away from me. Now in with you and tell er to come out afore I come in and kick er out. Tell er Bill Walker wants er. She’ll know what that means；and if she keeps me waitin it’ll be worse. You stop to jaw back at me；and I’ll start on you：d’ye hear？ There’s your way. In you go. (He takes her by the arm and slings her towards the door of the shelter. She falls on her hand and knee. Rummy helps her up again. )
Price：(rising，and venturing irresolutely towards Bill) Easy there，mate. She aint doin you no arm.
Bill：Who are you callin mate？(standing over him threateningly) You’re goin to stand up for her，are you？ Put up your ands.
Rummy：(running indignantly to him to scold him) Oh，you great brute—(He instantly savings his left hand back against her face. She screams and reels back to the trough，where she sits down，covering her bruised face with her hands and rocking herself and moaning with pain. )
Jenny：(going to her) Oh God forgive you！How could you strike an old woman like that？
Bill：(seizing her by the hair so violently that she also screams，and tearing her away from the old woman) You Gawd forgive me again and I’ll Gawd forgive you one on the jaw that’ll stop you prayin for a week，(holding her and turning fiercely on Price) Av you anything to say agen it？ Eh？
Price：(intimidated) No，matey：she ain’t anything to do with me.
Bill：Good job for you！I’d put two meals into you and fight you with one finger after，you starved cur.(to Jenny) Now are you goin to fetch out Mog Habbijam；or am I to knock your face off you and fetch her myself？
Jenny：(writhing in his grasp) Oh please someone go in and tell Major Barbara—
(She screams again as he wrenches her head down；and Price and Rummy flee into the shelter. )
Bill：You want to go in and tell your Major of men do you？
Jenny：Oh please don’t drag my hair. Let me go.
Bill：Do you or don’t you？ (She stifles a scream.) Yes or no.
Jenny：God give me strength—
Bill：(striking her with his fist in the face) Go and shew her that，and tell her if she Wants one like it to come and interfere with me.(Jenny，crying with pain，goes into the shed. He goes to the form and addresses the old man.) Here：finish your mess；and get out o my way.
Shirley：(springing up and facing him fiercely，with the mug in his hand) You take a liberty with me，and I’ll smash you over the face with the mug and cut your eye out. Ain’t you satisfied—young whelps like you— with takin the bread out o the mouths of your elders that have brought you up and slaved for you，but you must come shovin and cheekin and bullyininhere，where the bread o charity is sickeninin our stummicks？
Bill：(contemptuously，but backing a little) Wot good are you，you old palsy mug？ Wot good are you？
Shirley：As good as you and better. I’ll do a day’s work agen you or any fat young soaker of your age. Go and take my job at Horrockses，where I worked for ten year. They want young men there：they can’t afford to keep men over forty-five. They’re very sorry—give you a character and happy to help you to get anything suited to your years—sure a steady man won’t be long out of a job. Well，let em try you. They’ll find the differ. What do you know？ Not as much as how to beeyave yourself—layin your dirty fist across the mouth of a respectable woman！
Bill：Don’t provoke me to lay it acrost yours：d’ye hear？
Shirley：(with blighting contempt) Yes：you like an old man to hit，don’t you，when you’ve finished with the women. I ain’t seen you hit a young one yet.
Bill：(stung) You lie，you old soupkitchener，you. There was a young man here. Did I offer to hit him or did I not？
Shirllry：Was he starvin or was he not？ Was he a man or only a crosseyed thief a loafer？ Would you hit my son-in-law’s brother？
Bill：Who’s he？
Shirllry：Todger Fairmile o Balls Pond. Him that won ￡20 off the Japanese wrastler at the music hall by standin out 17 minutes 4 seconds agen him.
Bill：(sullenly) I’m no music hall wrastler. Can he box？
Shirley：Yes：an you can’t.
Bill：Wot！ I can’t，can’t I？ Wot’s that you say (threatening him) ？
Shirllry：(not budging an inch) Will you box Todger Fairmile if I put him on to you？ Say the word.
Bill：(subsiding with a slouch) I’ll stand up to any man alive，if he was ten Todger Fairmiles. But I don’t set up to be a perfessional.
Shirley：(looking down on him with unfathomable) You box！Slap an old woman with the back o your hand！ You hadn’t even the sense to hit her where a magistrate couldn’t see the mark of it，you silly young lump of conceit and ignorance. Hit a girl in the jaw and ony make her cry！If Todger Fairmile’d done it，she wouldn’t a got up inside o ten minutes，no more than you would if he got on to you. Yah！I’d set about you myself if I had a week’s feedin in me instead o two months starvation. (He returns to the table to finish his meal. )
Bill：(following him and stooping over him to drive the taunt in) You lie！ You have the bread and treacle in you that you come here to beg.
Shirley：(bursting into tears) Oh God！it’s true：I’m only an old pauper on the scrap heap，(furiously) But you’ll come to it yourself；and then you’ll know. You’ll come to it sooner than a teetotaler like me，fillin yourself with gin at this hour o the mornin！
Bill：I’m no gin drinker，you old liar；but when I want to give my girl a bloomin good idin I like to av a bit o devil in me：see？An here I am，talkin to a rotten old blighter like you sted o givin her wot for.(working himself into a rage) I’m goin in there to fetch her out. (He makes vengefully for the shelter door. )
Shirley：You’re goin to the station on a stretcher more likely；and they’ll take the gin and the devil out of you there when they get you inside. You mind what you’re about：the major here is the Earl o Stevenage’s granddaughter.
Bill：( checked ) Garn！
Shirley：You’ll see.
Bill：(his resolution oozing) Well，I ain’t done nothin to er.
Shirley：Spose she said you did！ Who’d believe you？
Bill：(very uneasy，skulking back to the corner of the penthouse) Gawd！there’s no jastice in this country. To think wot them people can do！ I’m as good as er.
Shirley：Tell her so. It’s just what a fool like you would do.
(Barbara，brisk and businesslike，comes from the shelter with a note book，and addresses herself to Shirley. Bill，cowed，sits down in the corner on a form，and turns his back on them. )
Barbara：Good morning.
Shirley：(standing up and taking off his hat) Good morning，miss.
Barbara：Sit down：make yourself at home.(He hesitates；but she puts a friendly hand on his shoulder and makes him obey.)Now then！ Since you’ve made friends with us，we want to know all about you. Names and addresses and trades.
Shirley：Peter Shirley. Fitter. Chucked out two months ago because I was too old.
Barbara：(not at all surprised) You’d pass still. Why didn’t you dye your hair？
Shirley：I did. Me age come out at a coroner’s inquest on me daughter.
Barbara：Steady？
Shirley：Teetotaller. Never out of a job before. Good worker. And sent to the knackers like an old horse！
Barbara：No matter：if you did your part God will do his.
Shirley： (suddenly stubborn) My religion’s no concern of anybody but myself.
Barbara：(guessing) I know. Secularist？
Shirley：(hotly) Did I offer to deny it？
Barbara：Why should you？My own father’s a Secularist，I think. Our Father— yours and mine—fulfils himself in many ways；and I daresay he knew what he was about when he made a Secularist of you. So buck up，Peter！ we can always find a job for a steady man like you.(Shirley，disarmed，touches his hat. She turns from him toBill.) What’s your name？
Bill：(insolently) Wot’s that to you？
Barbara：(calmly making a note) Afraid to give his name. Any trade？
Bill：Who’s afraid to give his name？(doggedly with a sense of heroically defying the House of Lords in the person of Lord Stevenage)If you want to bring a charge agen me，bring it. (She waits，unruffled.) My name’s Bill Walker.
Barbara：(as if the name were familiar：trying to remember how) Bill Walker？(recollecting) Oh，I know：you’re the man that Jenny Hill was praying for inside just now. (She enters his name in her note book. )
Bill：Who’s Jenny Hill？ And what call has she to pray for me？
Barbara：I don’t know. Perhaps it was you that cut her lip.
Bill：(defiantly) Yes，it was me that cut her lip. I ain’t afraid o you.
Barbara：How could you be，since you’re not afraid of God？ You’re a brave man，Mr. Walker. It takes some pluck to do our work here；but none of us dare lift our hand against a girl like little Jenny，for fear of her father in heaven.
Bill：(sullenly) I want none o your cantin jaw. I suppose you think I come here to beg from you，like this damaged lot here. Not me. I don’t want your bread and scrape and catlap. I don’t believe in your Gawd，no more than you do yourself.
Barbara：(sunnily apologetic and ladylike，as on a new footing with him) Oh，I beg your pardon for putting your name down，Mr. Walker. I didn’t understand. I’ll strike it out.
Bill：(taking this as a slight，and deeply Wounded by it) Eah！You let my name alone. Ain’t it good enough to be in your book？
Barbara：(considering) Well，you see，there’s no use putting down your name unless I can do something for you，is there？ What’s your trade？
Bill：(still smarting) That’s no concern o yours.
Barbara：Just so. (very businesslike) I’ll put you down as (writing) the man who struck poor little Jenny Hillin the mouth.
Bill：(rising threateningly) See here. I’ve ad enough o this.
Barbara：(quite sunny and fearless) What did you come to us for？
Bill：I come for my girl，see？ I come to take her out o this and to break er jawr for her.
Barbara：(complacently) You see I was right about your trade. (Bill，on the point of retorting furiously，finds himself，to his great shame and terror，in danger of crying instead. He sits down again suddenly.) What’s her name？
Bill：(dogged) Er name’s Mog Abbijam：that’s wot her name is.
Barbara：Oh，she’s gone to Canning Town，to our barracks there.
Bill：(fortified by his resentment of Mog’s perfidy) Is she？(vindictively) Then I’m goin to Kennintahn arter her. (He crosses to the gate，hesitates；finally comes back at Barbara.) Are you lyin to me to get shut o me？
Barbara：I don’t want to get shut of you. I want to keep you here and save your soul. You’d better stay：you’re going to have a bad time today，Bill.
Bill：Who’s goin to give it to me？ You，praps.
Barbara：Someone you don’t believe in. But you’ll be glad afterwards.
Bill： (slinking off) I’ll go to Kennintahn to be out o the reach o your tongue. (suddenly turning on her with intense malice) And if I don’t find Mog there，I’ll come back and do two years for you，selp me Gawd if I don’t！
Barbata：(a shade kindlier，if possible) It’s no use，Bill. Shes got another bloke.
Bill：Wot！
Barbata：One of her own converts. He fell in love with her when he saw her with her soul saved，and her face clean，and her hair washed.
Bill：(surprised) Wottud she wash it for，the carroty slut？ It’s red.
Barbata：It’s quite lovely now，because she wears a new look in her eyes with it. It’s a pity you’re too late. The new bloke has put your nose out of joint，Bill.
Bill：I’ll put his nose out o joint for him. Not that I care a curse for her，mind that.But I’ll teach her to drop me as if I was dirt. And I’ll teach him to meddle with my Judy. Wots is bleedin name？
Barbara：Sergeant Todger Fairmile.
Shirley：(rising with grim joy) I’ll go with him，miss. I want to see them two meet. I’ll take him to the infirmary when it’s over.
Bill：(to Shirley，with undissembled misgiving) Is that in you was speakin on？
Shirley：That’s him.
Bill：Im that wrastled in the music all？
Shirley：The competitions at the National Sportin Club was worth nigh a hundred a year to him. He’s gev em up now for religion；so he’s a bit fresh for want of the exercise he was accustomed to. He’ll be glad to see you. Come along.
Bill：Wots is weight？
Shirley：Thirteen four. (Bill’s last hope expires. )
Barbara：Go and talk to him，Bill. He’ll convert you.
Shirley：He’ll convert your head into a mashed potato.
Bill：(sullenly) I ain’t afraid of him. I ain’t afraid of ennybody. But he can lick me.She’s done me. (He sits down moodily on the edge of the horse trough.)
Shirley：You ain’t goin. I thought not. (He resumes his seat.)
Barbara：(calling) Jenny！
Jenny：(appearing at the shelter door with a plaster on the corner of her mouth)Yes，Major.
Barbara：Send Rummy Mitchens out to clear away here.
Jenny：I think she’s afraid.
Barbara：(her resemblance to her mother washing out for a moment) Nonsense！she must do as she’s told.
Jenny：(calling into the shelter) Rummy：the Major says you must come. (Jenny comes to Barbara，purposely keeping on the side next Bill，lest he should suppose that she shrank from him or bore malice，)
Barbara：Poor little Jenny！Are you tired？ (looking at the wounded cheek) Does it hurt？
Jenny：No：it’s all right now. It was nothing.
Barbara：(critically) It was as hard as he could hit，I expect. Poor Bill！ You don’t feel angry with him，do you？
Jenny：Oh no，no，no：indeed I don’t，Major，bless his poor heart！(Barbara kisses her；and she runs array merrily into the shelter. Bill writhes with an agonizing return of his new and alarming symptoms，but says nothing. Rummy Mitchens comes from the shelter. )
Barbara：(going to meet Rummy) Now Rummy，bustle. Take in those mugs and plates to be washed；and throw the crumbs about for the birds. (Rummy takes the three plates and mugs；but Shirley takes back his mug from her，as there is still some milk left in it. )
Rummy：There ain’t any crumbs. This ain’t a time to waste good bread on birds.
Price：(appearing at the shelter door) Gentleman come to see the shelter，Major. Says he’s your father.
Barbara：All right.Coming. (Snobby goes back into the shelter，followed by Barbara. )
Rummy：(stealing across to Bill and addressing him in a subdued voice，but with intense conviction) I’d av the lor of you，you flat eared pignosed potwalloper，if she’d Let me. You’re no gentleman，to hit a lady in the face. (Bill，with greater things moving in him，takes no notice.)
Shirley：(following her) Here！ In with you and don’t get yourself into more troubleby talking.
Rummy：(with hauteur) I ain’t ad the pleasure o being hintroduced to you，as I can remember. (She goes into the shelter with the plates. )
Shirley：Thats the—
Bill：(savagely) Don’t you talk to me，d’ye hear. You lea me alone，or I’ll do you a mischief. I’m not dirt under your feet，anyway.
Shirley：(calmly) Don’t you be afeerd. You ain’t such prime company that you need expect to be sought after. (He is about to go into the shelter when Barbara comes out，with Undershaft on her right.)
Barbara：Oh there you are，Mr. Shirley！(between them) This is my father：I told you he was a Secularist，didn’t I？ Perhaps you’ll be able to comfort one another.
Undershaft：(startled) A Secularist！Not the least in the world：on the contrary，a confirmed mystic.
Barbara：Sorry，I’m sure. By the way，papa，what is your religion—in case I have to introduce you again？
Undershaft：My religion？ Well，my dear，I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
Barbara：Then I’m afraid you and Mr. Shirley won’t be able to comfort one another after all. You’re not a Millionaire，are you，Peter？
Shirley：No；and proud of it.
Undershaft：(gravely) Poverty，my friend，is not a thing to be proud of.
Shirley：(angrily) Who made your millions for you？Me and my like. What’s kep us poor？ Keepin you rich. I wouldn’t have your conscience，not for all your income.
Undershaft：I wouldn’t have your income，not for all your conscience，Mr. Shirley.(He goes to the penthouse and sits down on a form.)
Barbara：(stopping Shirley adroitly as he is about to retort) You wouldn’t think he was my father，would you，Peter？ Will you go into the shelter and lend the lasses a hand for a while：we’re worked off our feet.
Shirley：(bitterly) Yes：I’m in their debt for a meal，ain’t I？
Barbara：Oh，not because you’re in their debt；but for love of them，Peter，for love of them. (He cannot understand，and is rather scandalized.) There！ don’t stare at me. In with you；and give that conscience of yours a holiday.(bustling him into the shelter)
Shirley：(as he goes in) Ah！it’s a pity you never was trained to use your reason，miss. You’d have been a very taking lecturer on Secularism.(Barbara turns to her father.)
Undershaft：Never mind me，my dear. Go about your work；and let me watch it for a while.
Barbara：All right.
Undershaft：For instance，what’s the matter with that out-patient over there？
Barbara：(looking at Bill，whose attitude has never changed，and whose expression of brooding wrath has deepened) Oh，we shall cure him in no time. Just watch. (She goes over to Bill and waits. He glances up at her and casts his eyes down again，uneasy，but grimmer than ever.) It would be nice to just stamp on Mog Habbijam’s face，wouldn’t it，Bill？
Bill：(starting up from the trough in consternation) It’s a lie：I never said so. (She shakes her head.) Who told you wot was in my mind？
Barbara：Only your new friend.
Bill：Wot new friend？
Barbara：The devil，Bill. When he gets round people they get miserable，just like you.
Bill：(with a heartbreaking attempt at devil-may-care cheerfulness) I ain’t miserable.
(He sits down again，and stretches his legs in an attempt to seem indifferent.)
Barbara：Well，if you’re happy，why don’t you look happy，as we do？
Bill：(his legs curling back in spite of him) I’m appy enough，I tell you. Why don’t you lea me alown？ Wot av I done to y o u？ I ain’t smashed your face，av I？
Barbara：(softly：wooing his soul) It’s not me that’s getting at you，Bill.
Bill：Who else is it？
Barbara：Somebody that doesn’t intend you to smash women’s faces，I suppose. Somebody or something that wants to make a man of you.
Bill：(blustering) Make a man o me！Ain’t I a man？ eh？Ain’t I a man？Who sez I’m not a man？
Barbara：There’s a man in you somewhere，I suppose. But why did he let you hit poor little Jenny Hill？ That wasn’t very manly of him，was it？
Bill：(tormented) Av done with it，I tell you. Chack it. I’m sick of your Jenny III and er silly little face.
Barbara：Then why do you keep thinking about it？ Why does it keep coming up against you in your mind？ You’re not getting converted，are you？
Bill：(with conviction) Not me. Not likely. Not arf
Barbara：That’s right，Bill. Hold out against it. Put out your strength. Don’t let’s get you cheap. Todger Fairmile said he wrestled for three nights against his Salvation harder than he ever wrestled with the Jap at the music hall. He gave in to the Jap when his arm was going to break. But he didn’t give in to his salvation until his heart was going to break. Perhaps you’ll escape that. You haven’t any heart，have you？
Bill：Wot d’ye mean？ Wy ain’t I got a art the same as ennybody else？
Barbara：A man with a heart wouldn’t have bashed poor little Jenny’s face，would he？
Bill：(almost crying) Ow，will you lea me alown？Av I ever offered to meddle with you，that you come naggin and provowkin me lawk this？ (He writhes convulsively from his eyes to his toes. )
Barbara：(with a steady soothing hand on his arm and a gentle voice that never lets him go) It’s your soul that’s hurting you，Bill，and not me. We’ve been through it all ourselves. Come with us，Bill.(He looks wildly round.) To brave manhood on earth and eternal glory in heaven. (He is on the point of breaking down.) Come. (A drum is heard in the shelter；and Bill，with a gasp，escapes from the spell as Barbara turns quickly. Adolphus enters from the shelter with a big drum.) Oh！there you are，Dolly. Let me introduce a new friend of mine，Mr. Bill Walker. This is my bloke，Bill：Mr. Cusins. (Cusins salutes with his drumstick. )
Bill：Goin to marry im？
Barbara：Yes.
Bill：(fervently)Gord elp im！ Gawd elp im！
Barbara：Why？ Do you think he won’t be happy with me？
Bill：I’ve only ad to stand it for a mornin：e’ll av to stand it for a lifetime.
Cusins：That is a frightful reflection，Mr. Walker. But I can’t tear myself away from her.
Bill：Well，I can. (to Barbara) Eah！Do you know where I’m going to，and wot I’m goin to do？
Barbara：Yes：you’re going to heaven；and you’re coming back here before the week’s out to tell me so.
Bill：You lie. I’m goin to Kennintahn，to spit in Todger Fairmile’s eye. I bashed Jenny Ill’s face；and now I’ll get me own face bashed and come back and shew it to er. E’ll it me ardern Iiter. That’ll make us square，(to Adolphus) Is that fair or is it not？You’re a genlmn：you oughter know.
Barbara：Two black eyes wont make one white one，Bill.
Bill：I didn’t ast you. Cawn’t you never keep your mahth shut？I ast the genlmn.
Cusins：refecfirely Yes： I think you’re right，Mr. Walker. Yes：I should do it. It’s curious：it’s exactly what an ancient Greek would have done.
Barbara：But what good will it do？
Cusins：Well，it will give Mr. Fairmile some exercise；and it will satisfy Mr. Walker’s soul.
Bill：Rot！ There ain’t no sach a thing as a soul. Ah kin you tell wether I’ve a soul or not？ You never seen it.
Barbara：I’ ve seen it hurting you when you went against it.
Bill：(with compressed aggravation) If you was my girl and took the word out o me mahth lawk thet，I’d give you suthink you’d feel urtin，so I would，(to Adolphus) You take my tip，mate. Stop er jawr；or you’ll die afore your time，(with intense expression.) wore aht：thets wot you’ll be：wore aht. (He goes away through the gate.)
Cusins：(looking after him) I wonder！
Barbara：Dolly！ (indignant，is her mother’s manner)
Cusins：Yes，my dear，it’s very wearing to be in love with you. If it lasts，I quite think I shall die young.
Barbara：Should you mind？
Cusins：Not at all. (He is suddenly softened，and kisses her over the drum，evidently not for the first time，as people cannot kiss over a big drum without practice.Undershaft coughs. )
Barbara：It’s all right，papa，we’ve not forgotten you. Dolly：explain the place to papa：I haven’t time. (She goes busily into the shelter.)(Undershaft and Adolphus none have the yard to themselves. Undershaft，seated on a form，and still keenly attentive，looks hard at Adolphus. Adolphus looks hard at him.)
Undershaft：I fancy you guess something of what is in my mind，Mr. Cusins. (Cusins flourishes his drumsticks as if in the act of beating a lively rataplan，but makes no sound.) Exactly so. But suppose Barbara finds you out！
Cusins：You know，I do not admit that I am imposing on Barbara. I am quite genuinely interested in the views of the Salvation Army. The fact is，I am a sort of collector of religions；and the curious thing is that I find I can believe them all. By the way，have you any religion？
Undershaft：Yes.
Cusins：Anything out of the common？
Undershaft：Only that there are two things necessary to Salvation.
Cusins：(disappointed，but polite) Ah，the Church Catechism. Charles Lomax also belongs to the Established Church.
Undershaft：The two things are—
Cusins：Baptism and—
Undershaft：No. Money and gunpowder.
Cusins：(surprised，but interested) That is the general opinion of our governing classes. The novelty is in hearing any man confess it.
Undershaft：Just so.
Cusins：Excuse me：is there any place in your religion for honor，justice，truth，love，mercy and so forth？
Undershaft：Yes：they are the graces and luxuries of a rich，strong，and safe life.
Cusins：Suppose one is forced to choose between them and money or gunpowder？
Undershaft：Choose money and gunpowder；for without enough of both you cannot afford the others.
Cusins：That is your religion？
Undershaft：Yes.
(The cadence of this reply makes a full close in the conversation. Cusins twists his face dubiously and contemplates Undershaft. Undershaft contemplates him. )
Cusins：Barbara won’t stand that. You will have to choose between your religion and Barbara.
Undershaft：So will you，my friend. She will find out that that drum of yours is hollow.
Cusins：Father Undershaft：you are mistaken：I ans a sincere Salvationist. You do not understand the Salvation Army. It is the army of joy，of love，of courage：it has banished the fear and remorse and despair of the old hell-ridden evangelical sects：it marches to fight the devil with trumpet and drum，with music and dancing，with banner and palm，as becomes a sally from heaven by its happy garrison. It picks the waster out of the public house and makes a man of him：it finds a worm wriggling in a back kitchen，and lo！ a woman！ Men and women of rank too，sons and daughters of the Highest. It takes the poor professor of Greek，the most artificial and self-suppressed of human creatures，from his meal of roots，and lets loose the rhapsodist in him；reveals the true worship of Dionysos to him；sends him down the public street drumming dithyrambs. (He plays a thundering flourish on the drum.)
Undershaft：You will alarm the shelter.
Cusins：Oh，they are accustomed to these sudden ecstasies of piety. However，if the drum worries you—(He pockets the drumsticks；unhooks the drum；and stands it on the ground opposite the gateway. )
Undershaft：Thank you.
Cusins：You remember what Euripides says about your money and gunpowder？
Undershaft：No.
Cusins：(declaiming)One and another In money and guns may outpass his brother；
And men in their millions float and flow. And seethe with a million hopes as leaven；And they win their will；or they miss their win；And their hopes are dead or are pined for still；But whoe ’er can know. As the long days go. That to live is happy，has found his heaven. My translation，what do you think of it？
Undershaft：I think，my friend，that if you wish to know，as the long days go，that to live is happy，you must first acquire money enough for a decent life，and power enough to be your own master.
Cusins：You are damnably discouraging. (He resumes his declamation.)Is it so hard a thing to see. That the spirit of God—whate ’er it be— The Law that abides and changes not，ages long，The Eternal and Nature-born：these things be strong？ What else is Wisdom？ What of Man’s endeavor，Or God’s high grace so lovely and so great？ To stand from fear set free？ To breathe and wait？ To hold a hand uplifted over Fate？ And shall not Barbara be loved for ever？
Undershaft：Euripides mentions Barbara，does he？
Cusins：It is a fair translation. The word means Loveliness.
Undershaft：May I ask—as Barbara’s father—how much a year she is to be loved for ever on？
Cusins：As Barbara’s father，that is more your affair than mine. I can feed her by teaching Greek：that is about all.
Undershaft：Do you consider it a good match for her？
Cusins：(with polite obstinacy) Mr. Undershaft：I am in many ways a weak，timid，ineffectual person；and my health is far from satisfactory. But whenever 1 feel that I must have anything，I get it，sooner or later. I feel that way about Barbara. I don’t like marriage：I feel intensely afraid of it；and I don’t know what I shall do with Barbara or what she will do with me. But I feel that I and nobody else must marry her. Please regard that as settled. Not that I wish to be arbitrary；but why should I waste your time in discussing what is inevitable？
Undershaft：You mean that you will stick at nothing：not even the conversion of the Salvation Army to the worship of Dionysos.
Cusins：The business of the Salvation Army is to save，not to wrangle about the name of the pathfinder. Dionysos or another：what does it matter？
Undershaft：(rising and approaching him) Professor Cusins：you are a young man after my own heart.
Cusins：Mr. Undershaft：you are，as far as I am able to gather，a most infernal old rascal；but ...(Undershaft mutely offers his hand. They shake.)
Undershaft：(suddenly concentrating himself) And now to business.
Cusins：Pardon me. We were discussing religion. Why go back to such an uninteresting and unimportant subject as business？
Undershaft：Religion is our business at present，because it is through religion alone that we can win Barbara.
Cusins：Have you，too，fallen in love with Barbara？
Undershaft：Yes，with a father’s love.
Cusins：A father’s love for a grown-up daughter is the most dangerous of all infatuations. I apologize for mentioning my own pale，coy，mistrustful fancy in the same breath with it.
Undershaft：Keep to the point. We have to win her；and we are neither of us Methodists.
Cusins：That doesn’t matter. The power Barbara wields here—the power that wields Barbara herself—is not Calvinism，not Presbyterianism，not Methodism.
Undershaft：Not Greek Paganism either，eh？
Cusins：I admit that. Barbara is quite original in her religion.
Undershaft：(triumphantly) Aha！Barbara Undershaft would be. Her inspiration comes from within herself.
Cusins：How do you suppose it got there？
Undershaft：(in towering excitement) It is the Undershaft inheritance. I shall hand on my torch to my daughter. She shall make my converts and preach my gospel—
Cusins：What！ Money and gunpowder！
Undershaft：Yes，money and gunpowder；freedom and power；command of life and command of death.
Cusins：(urbanely：trying to bring him dotter to earth) This is extremely interesting，Mr. Undershaft. Of course you know that you are mad.
Undershaft：(with redoubled force) And you？
Cusins：Oh，mad as a hatter. You are welcome to my secret since I have discovered yours. But I am astonished. Can a madman make cannons？
Undershaft：Would anyone else than a madman make them？And now (with surging energy) question for question. Can a sane man translate Euripides？
Cusins：No.
Undershaft：(seizing him by the shoulder) Can a sane woman make a man of a waster or a woman of a worm？
Cusins：(reeling before the storm) Father Colossus—Mammoth Millionaire—
Undershaft：(pressing him) Are there two mad people or three in this Salvation shelter today？
Cusins：You mean Barbara is as mad as we are！
Undershaft：(pushing him lightly off and resuming his equanimity suddenly and completely) Pooh，Professor！ Let us call things by their proper names.I am a millionaire；you are a poet；Barbara is a savior of souls. What have we three to do with the common mob of slaves and idolaters？(He sits down again with a shrug of contempt for the mob. )
Cusins：Take care！Barbara is in love with the common people. So am I. Have you never felt the romance of that love？
Undershaft：(cold and sardonic) Have you ever been in love with Poverty，like St. Francis？Have you ever been in love with Dirt，like St. Simeon？Have you ever been in love with disease and suffering，like our nurses and philanthropists？Such passions are not virtues，but the most unnatural of all the vices. This love of the common people may please an earl’s granddaughter and a university professor；but I have been a common man and a poor man；and it has no romance for me. Leave it to the poor to pretend that poverty is a blessing：leave it to the coward to make a religion of his cowardice by preaching humility：we know better than that. We three must stand together above the common people：how else can we help their children to climb up beside us？Barbara must belong to us，not to the Salvation Army.
Cusins：Well，I can only say that if you think you will get her away from the Salvation Army by talking to her as you have been talking to me，you don’t know Barbara.
Undershaft：My friend：I never ask for what I can buy.
Cusins：(in a white fury) Do I understand you to imply that you can buy Barbara？
Undershaft：No；but I can buy the Salvation Army.
Cusins：Quite impossible.
Undershaft：You shall see. All religious organizations exist by selling themselves to the rich.
Cusins：Not the Army. That is the Church of the poor.
Undershaft：All the more reason for buying it.
Cusins：I don’t think you quite know what the Army does for the poor.
Undershaft：Oh yes I do. It draws their teeth：that is enough for me—as a man of business—
Cusins：Nonsense. It makes them sober—
Undershaft：I prefer sober workmen. The profits are larger.
Cusins：—honest—
Undershaft：Honest workmen are the most economical.
Cusins：—attached to their homes—
Undershaft：So much the better：they will put up with anything sooner than change their shop.
Cusins：—happy—
Undershaft：An invaluable safeguard against revolution.
Cusins：—unselfish—
Undershaft：Indifferent to their own interests，which suits me exactly.
Cusins：—with their thoughts on heavenly things—
Undershaft：(rising) And not on Trade Unionism nor Socialism. Excellent.
Cusins：(revolted) You really are an infernal old rascal.
Undershaft：(indicating Peter Shirley，who has just come from the shelter and strolled dejectedly down the yard between them) And this is an honest man！
Shirley：Yes；and what av I got by it？ (he passes on bitterly and sits on the form，in the corner of the penthouse. )(Snobby Price，beaming sanctimoniously，and Jenny Hill，with a tambourine full of coppers，come from the shelter and go to the drum，on which Jenny begins to count the money. )
Undershaft：(replying to Shirley) Oh，your employers must have got a good deal by it from first to last.(He sits on the table，With one foot on the side form. Cusins，overwhelmed，sots down on the same form nearer the shelter. Barbara comes from the shelter to the middle of the yard. She is excited and a little overwrought. )
Barbara：We’ve just had a splendid experience meeting at the other gate in Cripps’s lane. I’ve hardly ever seen them so much moved as they were by your confession，Mr. Price.
Price：I could almost be glad of my past wickedness if I could believe that it would elp to keep hathers stright.
Barbara：So it will，Snobby. How much，Jenny？
Jenny：Four and tenpence，Major.
Barbara：Oh Snobby，if you had given your poor mother just one more kick，we should hare got the whole five shillings！
Price：If she heard you say that，miss，she’d be sorry I didn’t. But I’m glad. Oh what a joy it will be to her when she hears I’m saved！
Undershaft：Shall I contribute the odd two pence，Barbara？ The millionaire’s mite，eh？ (He takes a couple of pennies from his pocket)
Barbara：How did you make that two pence？
Undershaft：As usual. By selling cannons，torpedoes，submarines，and my new patent Grand Duke hand grenade.
Barbara：Put it back in your pocket. You can’t buy your Salvation here for twopence：you must work it out.
Undershaft：Is two pence not enough？ I can afford a little more，if you press me.
Barbara：Two million millions would not be enough. There is bad blood on your hands；and nothing but good blood can cleanse them. Money is no use. Take it away.(She turns to Cusins.) Dolly：you must write another letter for me to the papers. (He makes a wry face.) Yes：I know you dont like it；but it must be done. The starvation this winter is beating us：everybody is unemployed. The General says we must close this shelter if we cant get more money. I force the collections at the meetings until Iam ashamed：don’t I，Snobby？
Price：It’s a fair treat to see you work it，Miss. The way you got them up from three-and-six to four-and-ten with that hymn，penny by penny and verse by verse，was a caution. Not a Cheap Jack on Mile End Waste could touch you at it.
Barbara：Yes；but I wish we could do without it. I am getting at last to think more of the collection than of the people’s souls. And what are those hatfuls of pence and halfpence？We want thousands！Tens of thousands！Hundreds of thousands！I want to convert people，not to be always begging for the Army in a way I’d die sooner than beg for myself.
Undershaft：(in profound irony) Genuine unselfishness is capable of anything，my dear.
Barbara：(unsuspectingly，as she turns away to take the money from the drum and put it in a cash bag she carries) Yes，isn’t it？(Undershaft looks sardonically at Cusins.)
Cusins：(aside to Undershaft) Mephistopheles！ Machiavelli！
Barbara：(tears coming into her eyes as she ties the bag and pockets it) How are we to feed them？ I can’t talk religion to a man with bodily hunger in his eyes，(almost breaking down) It’s frightful.
Jenny：(running to her) Major，dear—
Barbara：(rebounding) No，don’t comfort me. It will be all right. We shall get the money.
Undershaft：How？
Jenny：By praying for it，of course. Mrs Baines says she prayed for it last night；and she has never prayed for it in vain：never once.(She goes to the gate and looks out into the street. )
Barbara：(who has dried her eyes and regained her composure) By the way，dad，Mrs Baines has come to march with us to our big meeting this afternoon；and she is very anxious to meet you，for some reason or other. Perhaps she’ll convert you.
Undershaft：I shall be delighted，my dear.
Jenny：(at the gate：excitedly) Major！Major！ Here’s that man back again.
Barbara：What man？
Jenny：The man that hit me. Oh，I hope he’s coming back to join us. (Bill Walker，with frost on his jacket，comes through the gate，his hands deep in his pockets and his chin sunk between his shoulders，like a cleaned-out gambler. He halts between Barbara and the drum. )
Barbara：Hullo，Bill！ Back already！
Bill：(nagging at her) Bin talkin ever sence，av you？
Barbara：Pretty nearly well，has Todger paid you out for poor Jenny’s jaw？
Bill：No he ain’t.
Barbara：I thought your jacket looked a bit snowy.
Bill：So it is snowy. You want to know where the snow come from，don’t you？
Barbara：Yes.
Bill：Well，it come from off the ground in Parkinses Corner in Kennintahn. It got rubbed off be my shoulders：see？
Barbara：Pity you didn’t rub some off with your knees，Bill！That would have done you a lot of good.
Bill：(with sour mirthless humor) I was saving another man’s knees at the time. E was kneelin on my ed，so e was.
Barbara： Who was kneeling on your head？
Bill：Todger was. E was prayin for me：prayin comfortable with me as a carpet. So was Mog. So was the ole bloomin meetin. Mog she sez“O Lord break is stubborn spirit；but don’t urt is dear art.” That was wot she said. “Don’t urt is dear art”！An er bloke—hirteen stun four！ —kneelin wiv all is weight on me. Funny，ain’t it？
Jenny：Oh no. We’re so sorry，Mr. Walker.
Barbara：(enjoying it frankly) Nonsense！of course it’s funny. Served you right，Bill！ You must have done something to him first.
Bill：(doggedly) I did wot I said I’d do. I spit in is eye. E looks up at the sky and sez，“O that I should be fahnd worthy to be spit upon for the gospel’s sake！ ”e sez；an Mog sez“Glory Allelloolier！ ”；and then e called me Brother，an dahned me as if I was a kid and e was me mother washin me a Setterda nawt. I adn’t just no show wiv im at all. Arf the street prayed；an the tother arf larfed fit to split theirselves. (to Barbara) There！ are you settisfawd nah？
Barbara：(her eyes dancing) Wish I’d been there，Bill.
Bill：Yes：you’d a got in a hextra bit o talk on me，wouldn’t you？
Jenny：I’m so sorry，Mr. Walker.
Bill：(fiercely) Don’t you go bein sorry for me：you’ve no call. Listen ere. I broke your jawr.
Jenny：No，it didn’t hurt me：indeed it didn’t，except for a moment. It was only that I was frightened.
Bill：I don’t want to be forgive be you，or be ennybody. Wot I did I’ll pay for. I tried to get me own jawr broke to settisfaw you—
Jenny：(distressed) Oh no—
Bill：(impatiently)Tell y’l did：cawn’t you listen to wot’s bein told you？ All I got be it was bein made a sight of in the public street for me pains. Well，if I cawn’t settisfaw you one way，I can another. Listen ere！ I ad two quid saved agen the frost；an I’ve a pahnd of it left. A mate o mine last week ad words with the Judy e’s goin to marry. E give er wotfor；an e’s bin fined fifteen bob. E ad a right to it er because they was goin to be marrid；but I adn’t no right to it you；so put anather fawv bob on an call it a pahnd’s worth. (He produces a sovereign.) Ere’s the money. Take it；and let’s av no more o your forgivin an prayin and your Major jawrin me. Let wot I done be done and paid for；and let there be a end of it.
Jenny：Oh，I couldn’t take it，Mr. Walker. But if you would give a shilling or two to poor Rummy Mitchens！ you really did hurt her；and she’s old.
Bill：(contemptuously) Not likely. I’d give her anather as soon as look at er. Let her av the lawr o me as she threatened！ She ain’t forgiven me：not mach. Wot I done to er is not on me mawnd—wot she (indicating Barbara) might call on me conscience-no more than stickin a pig. It’s this Christian game o yours that I won’t av played agen me：this bloomin forgivin an naggin an jawrin that makes a man that sore that in lawf’s a burdn to im. I won’t av its I tell you；so take your money and stop throwin your silly bashed face hup agen me.
Jenny：Major：may I take a little of it for the Army？
Barbara：No：the Army is not to be bought. We want your soul，Bill；and we’ll take nothing less.
Bill：(bitterly) I know. It ain’t enough. Me an me few shillins is not good enough for you. You’re a earl’s grendorter，you are. Nothin less than a underd pahnd for you.
Undershaft：Come，Barbara！ you could do a great deal of good with a hundred pounds. If you will set this gentleman’s mind at ease by taking his pound，I will give the other ninety-nine. (Bill，astounded by such opulence，instinctively touches his cap.)
Barbara：Oh，you’re too extravagant，papa. Bill offers twenty pieces of silver. All you need offer is the other ten. That will make the standard price to buy anybody who’s for sale. I’m not；and the Army’s not. (to Bill) You’ll never have another quiet moment，Bill，until you come round to us. You can’t stand out against your salvation.
Bill：(sullenly) I cawn’t stend aht agen music-all wrastlers and artful tongued women. I’ve offered to pay. I can do no more. Take it or leave it. There it is. (He throws the sovereign on the drum，and sits down on the horse-trough. The coin fascinates Snobby Price，who takes an early opportunity of dropping his cap on it) (Mrs Baines comes from the shelter.She is dressed as a Salvation Army Commissioner. She is an earnest looking woman of about 40，with a caressing，urgent voice，and an appealing manner.)
Barbara：This is my father，Mrs Baines. (Undershaft comes from the table，taking his hat off with marked civility.) Try what you can do with him. He won’t listen to me，because he remembers what a fool I was when I was a baby.(She leaves them together and chats with Jenny. )
Mrs Baines：Have you been shewn over the shelter，Mr. Undershaft？ You know the work we’re doing，of course.
Undershaft：(very civilly) The whole nation knows it，Mrs Baines.
Mrs Baines：No，sir：the whole nation does not know it，or we should not be crippled as we are for want of money to carry our work through the length and breadth of the land. Let me tell you that there would have been rioting this winter in London but for us.
Undershaft：You really think so？
Mrs Baines：I know it. I remember 1886，when you rich gentlemen hardened your hearts against the cry of the poor. They broke the windows of your clubs in Pall Mall.
Undershaft：(gleaming with approval of their method) And the Mansion House Fund went up next day from thirty thousand pounds to seventy-nine thousand！ I remember quite well.
Mrs Baines：Well，won’t you help me to get at the people？ They won’t break windows then. Come here，Price. Let me shew you to this gentleman.(Price comes to be inspected.) Do you remember the window breaking？
Price：My ole father thought it was the revolution，ma’am.
Mrs Baines：Would you break windows now？
Price：Oh no ma’am. The windows of eaven av bin opened to me. I know now that the rich man is a sinner like myself.
Rummy：(appearing above at the loft door) Snobby Price！
Price：Wot is it？
Rummy：Your mother’s askin for you at the other gate in Crippses Lane. She’s heard about your confession. (Price turns pale. )
Mrs Baines：Go，Mr. Price；and pray with her.
Jenny：You can go through the shelter，Snobby.
Price：(to Mrs Baines) I couldn’t face her now，ma’am，with all the weight of my sins fresh on me. Tell her she’ll find her son at ome，waitin for her in prayer. (He skulks off through the gate，incidentally stealing the sovereign on his way out by picking up his cap from the drum. )
Mrs Baines： (with signing eyes) You see how we take the anger and the bitterness against you out of their hearts，Mr. Undershaft.
Undershaft：It is certainly most convenient and gratifying to all large employers of labor，Mrs Baines.
Mrs Baines：Barbara：Jenny：I have good news：most wonderful news. (Jenny runs to her.) My prayers have been answered. I told you they would，Jenny，didn’t I？
Jenny：Yes，yes.
Barbara：(moving nearer to the drum) Have we got money enough to keep the shelter open？
Mrs Baines：I hope we shall have enough to keep an the shelters open. Lord Saxmundham has promised us five thousand pounds—
Barbara：Hooray！
Jenny：Glory！
Mrs Baines：—if—
Barbara：“If！ ” If what？
Mrs Baines：—if five other gentlemen will give a thousand each to make it up to ten thousand.
Barbara：Who is Lord Saxmundham？ I never heard of him.
Undershaft：(who has pricked up his ears at the peer’s name，and is note watching Barbara curiously) A new creation，my dear. You have heard of Sir Horace Bodger？
Barbara：Bodger！ Do you mean the distiller？ Bodger’s whisky！
Undershaft：That is the man. He is one of the greatest of our public benefactors. He restored the cathedral at Hakington. They made him a baronet for that. He gave half a million to the funds of his party：they made him a baron for that.
Shirley：What will they give him for the five thousand？
Undershaft：There is nothing left to give him. So the five thousand，I should think，is to save his soul.
Mrs Baines：Heaven grant it may！Oh Mr. Undershaft，you have some very rich friends. Can’t you help us towards the other five thousand？ We are going to hold a great meeting this afternoon at the Assembly Hall in the Mile End Road. If I could only announce that one gentleman had come forward to support Lord Saxmundham，others would follow. Don’t you know somebody？couldn’t you？wouldn’t you？(Her eyes fill with tears.) oh，think of those poor people，Mr. Undershaft：think of how much it means to them，and how little to a great man like you.
Undershaft： (sardonically gallant) Mrs Baines：you are irres is tible.Ican’t disappoint you；and I can’t deny myself the satisfaction of making Bodger pay up. You shall have your five thousand pounds.
Mrs Baines：Thank God！
Undershaft：You don’t thank me？
Mrs Baines：Oh sir，don’t try to be cynical：don’t be ashamed of being a good man. The Lord will bless you abundantly；and our prayers will be like a strong fortification round you all the days of your life，(with a touch of caution) You will let me have the cheque to shew at the meeting，won’t you？ Jenny：go in and fetch a pen and ink. (Jenny runs to the shelter door.)
Undershaft：Do not disturb Miss Hill：I have a fountain pen.(Jenny halts. He sits at the table and writes the cheque. Cusins rises to make more room for him. They all match him silently. )
Bill：(cynically，aside to Barbara，his voice and accent horribly debased) Wot prawce Selvytion nah？
Barbara：Stop.(Undershaft stops writing，they all turn to her in surprise.) Mrs Baines：are you really going to take this money？
Mrs Baines：(astonished) Why not，dear？
Barbara：Why not！Do you know what my father is？ Have you forgotten that Lord Saxmundham is Bodger the whisky man？Do you remember how we implored the County Council to stop him from writing Bodger’s Whisky in letters of fire against the sky；so that the poor drink-ruined creatures on the embankment could not wake up from their snatches of sleep without being reminded of their deadly thirst by that wicked sky sign？ Do you know that the worst thing I have had to fight here is not the devil，but Bodger，Bodger，Bodger，with his whisky，his distilleries，and his tied houses？ Are you going to make our shelter another tied house for him，and ask me to keep it？
Bill：Rotten drinken whisky it is too.
Mrs Baines：Dear Barbara：Lord Saxmundham has a soul to be saved like any of us. If heaven has found the way to make a good use of his money，are we to set ourselves up against the answer to our prayers？
Barbara：I know he has a soul to be saved. Let him come down here；and I’ll do my best to help him to his salvation. But he wants to send his cheque down to buy us，and go on being as wicked as ever.
Undershaft：(with a reasonableness which Cusins alone perceives to be ironical) My dear Barbara：alcohol is a very necessary article. It heals the sick—
Barbara：It does nothing of the sort.
Undershaft：Well，it assists the doctor：that is perhaps a less questionable way of putting it. It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning. Is it Bodger’s fault that this inestimable gift is deplorably abused by less than one percent of the poor？ (He turns again to the table；signs the cheque；and crosses it.)
Mrs Baines：Barbara：will there be less drinking or more if all those poor souls we are saving come tomorrow and find the doors of our shelters shut in their faces？ Lord Saxmundham gives us the money to stop drinking—to take his own business from him.
Cusins：(impishly) Pure self-sacrifice on Bodger’s part，clearly！ Bless dear Bodger！(Barbara almost breaks down as Adolphus，too，fails her.)
Undershaft：(tearing out the cheque and pocketing the book as he rises and goes past Cusins to Mrs Baines) I also，Mrs Baines，may claim a little disinterestedness.Think of my business！ Think of the widows and orphans！ The men and lads torn to pieces with shrapnel and poisoned with lyddite，(Mrs Barnes shrinks；but he goes on remorselyl) the oceans of blood，not one drop of which is shed in a really just cause！ the ravaged crops！ the peaceful peasants forced，women and men，to till their fields under the fire of opposing armies on pain of starvation！The bad blood of the fierce little cowards at home who egg on others to fight for the gratification of their national vanity！All this makes money for me：I am never richer，never busier than when the papers are full of it. Well，it is your work to preach peace on earth and goodwill to men.(Mrs Baines’s face lights up again.) Every convert you make is a vote against war. (Her lips move in prayer. ) Yet I give you this money.
Cusins：(mounting the form in an ecstasy of mischief) The millennium will be inaugurated by the unselfishness of Undershaft and Bodger. Oh be joyful！(He takes the drumsticks from his pockets and flourishes them. )
Mrs Baines：(taking the cheque) The longer I live the more proof I see that there is an Infinite Goodness that turns everything to the work of salvation sooner or later. Who would have thought that any good could have come out of war and drink？And yet their profits are brought today to the feet of salvation to do its blessed work. (She is affected to tears. )
Jenny：(running to Mrs Baines and throning her arms round her) Oh dear！How blessed，how glorious it all is！
Cusins：(in a convulsion of irony) Let us seize this unspeakable moment. Let us march to the great meeting at once. Excuse me just an instant.(He rushes into the shelter. Jenny takes her tambourine from the drum head. )
Mrs Baines：Mr. Undershaft：have you ever seen a thousand people fall on their knees with one impulse and pray？ Come with us to the meeting. Barbara shall tell them that the Army is saved，and saved through you.
Cusins：(returning impetuously from the shelter with a flag and a trombone，and coming between Mrs Baines and Undershaft) You shall carry the flag down the first street，Mrs Baines.(He gives her the flag.) Mr. Undershaft is a gifted trombonist：he shall intone an Olympian diapason to the West Ham Salvation March，(aside to Undershaft，as he forces the trombone on him) Blow，Machiavelli，blow.
Undershaft：(aside to him，as he takes the trombone) The trumpet in Zion！(Cusins rushes to the drum，which he takes up and puts on. Undershaft continues，aloud) I will do my best. I could vamp a bass if I knew the tune.
Cusins： It is a wedding chorus from one of Donizetti’s operas；but we have converted it. We convert everything to good here，including Bodger. You remember the chorus.“For thee immense rejoicing—immenso giubilo—immenso giubilo.” (with drum obbligato) Rum turn ti turn turn，turn turn ti ta—
Barbara：Dolly：you are breaking my heart.
Cusins：What is a broken heart more or less here？Dionysos Undershaft has descended. I am possessed.
Mrs Baines：Come，Barbara：I must have my dear Major to carry the flag with me.
Jenny：Yes，yes，Major darling.
Cusins：(snatches the tambourine out of Jenny’s hand and mutely offers it to Barbara)
Barbara：(coming forward a little as she puts the offer behind her with a shudder，whilst Cusins recklessly tosses the tambourine back to Jenny and goes to the gate) I can’t come.
Jenny：Not come！
Mrs Baines：(with tears in her eyes) Barbara：do you think I am wrong to take the money？
Barbara：(impulsively going to her and kissing her) No，no：God help you，dear，you must：you are saving the Army. Go；and may you have a great meeting！
Jenny：But am’t you coming？
Barbara：No. (She begins taking off the silver S brooch from her collar. )
Mrs Baines：Barbara：what are you doing？
Jenny：Why are you taking your badge off？ You can’t be going to leave us，Major.
Barbara：(quietly) Father：come here.
Undershaft：(coming to her) My dear！(seeing that she is going to pin the badge on his collar，he retreats to the penthouse in some alarm. )
Barbara：(following him) Don’t be frightened.(She pins the badge on and steps back towards the table，sheaving him to the others.) There！It’s not much for ￡5000，is it？
Mrs Baines：Barbara：if you won’t come and pray with us，promise me you will pray for us.
Barbara：I can’t pray now. Perhaps I shall never pray again.
Mrs Baines：Barbara！
Jenny：Major！
Barbara：(almost delirious) I can’t bear any more. Quick march！
Cusins：(calling to the procession in the street outside) Off we go. Play up，there！ Immensogiubilo.(He gives the time with his drum；and the band strikes up the march，which rapidly becomes more distant as the procession moves briskly away. )
Mrs Baines：I must go，dear. You’re overworked：you will be all right tomorrow. We’ll never lose you. Now Jenny：step out with the old flag. Blood and Fire！(She marches out through the gate with her flag. )
Jenny：Glory Hallelujah！ (fourishing her tambourine and marching)
Undershaft：(to Cusins，as he marches out past him easing the slide of his trombone) “My ducats and my daughter”！
Cusins：(following him out) Money and gunpowder！
Barbara：Drunkenness and Murder！ My God：why hast thou forsaken me？ (She sinks on the form with her face buried in her hands. The march passes away into silence. Bill Walker steals across to her. )
Bill：(taunting) Wot prawce Selvytion nah？
Shirley：Don’t you hit her when she’s down.
Bill：She it me wen aw wiz dahn. Waw shouldn’t i git a bit o me own back？
Barbara：(raising her head) I didn’t take your money，Bill. (She crosses the yard to the gate and turns her back on the two men to hide her face from them. )
Bill：(sneering after her) Naow，it warn’t enough for you. (turning to the drum，he misses the money) Ellow！If you ain’t took it summun else az. Were’s it gorn？Blame me if Jenny III didn’t take it arter all！
Rummy：(screaming at him from the loft) You lie，you dirty blackguard！ Snobby Price pinched it off the drum wen e took ap iz cap. I was ap ere all the time an see im do it.
Bill：Wot！ Stowl maw money！Waw didn’t you call thief on him，you silly old mucker you？
Rummy：To serve you aht for ittin me acrost the fice. It’s cost y’pahnd，that az. (raising a paean of squalid triumph)I done you. I’m even with you. I’ve ad it aht o y—(Bill snatches up Shirley’s mug and hurls it at her. She slams the loft door and vanishes. The mug smashes against the door and falls in fragments. )
Bill：(beginning to chuckle) Tell us，ole man，wot o’clock this mornin was it wen im as they call Snobby Prawce was sived？
Barbara：(turning to him more composedly，and with unspoiled sweetness) About half past twelve，Bill. And he pinched your pound at a quarter to two. I know. Well，you can’t afford to lose it. I’ll send it to you.
Bill：(his voice and accent suddenly improving) Not if I was to starve for it. I ain’t to be bought.
Shirley：Ain’t you？You’d sell yourself to the devil for a pint o beer；ony there ain’t no devil to make the offer.
Bill：(unshamed) So I would，mate，and often av，cheerful. But she cawn’t buy me. (approaching Barbara) You wanted my soul，did you？ Well，you ain’t got it.
Barbara：I nearly got it，Bill. But we’ve sold it back to you for ten thousand pounds.
Shirley：And dear at the money！
Barbara：No，Peter：it was worth more than money.
Bill：(salvationproof) It’s no good：you cawn’t get rahnd me nah. I don’t blieve in it；and I’ve seen today that I was right，(going) So long，old soupkitchener！ Ta，ta，Major Earl’s Grendorter！(turning at the gate)Wot prawce Selvytion nah？Snobby Prawce！ Ha！ ha！
Barbara：(offering her hand) Goodbye，Bill.
Bill：(taken aback，half plucks his cap off；then shoves it on again defiantly) Git aht. (Barbara drops her hand，discouraged. He has a twinge of remorse.)But thet’s aw rawt，you knaow. Nathink pasnl，Naow mellice. So long，Judy. (He goes.)
Barbara：No malice. So long，Bill.
Shirley：(shaking his head) You make too much of him，Miss，in your innocence.
Barbara：(going to him) Peter：I’m like you now. Cleaned out，and lost my job.
Shirley：You’ve youth an hope. That’s two better than me.
Barbara：I’ll get you a job，Peter. That’s hope for you：the youth will have to be enough for me.(She counts her money.)I have just enough left for two teas at Lockharts，a Rowton doss for you，and my tram and bus home.(He frowns and rises with offended pride. She takes his arm.) Don’t be proud，Peter：it’s sharing between friends. And promise me you’ll talk to me and not let me cry. (She draws him towards the gate. )
Shirley：Well，I’ m not accustomed to talk to the like of you—
Barbara：(urgently) Yes，yes：you must talk to me. Tell me about Tom Paine’s books and Bradlaugh’s lectures. Come along.
Shirley：Ah，if you would only read Tom Paine in the proper spirit，Miss！(They go out through the gate together. )
第二幕
西汉姆街救世军收容所的院子里在一月的清晨是个寒冷之地。收容所原来是个旧仓库，最近被刷成了白色。它山墙的一端伸进院子中间，一扇门在一楼，另一扇在上面的阁楼上，没有任何阳台和梯子，而是用一个滑轮固定在上面，以吊起一条条麻袋。从底层门出来走进院子里面的人，左手边是通向大街的大门，门口边上是一个石头马槽，右手边是一个小棚屋，棚屋下面是一张桌子，桌子上刻着赛马的成绩记录，上面坐着一男一女，都是一副落魄的样子。他们正在吃着面包（每人拿着厚厚的一块，上面涂抹着人造黄油和黄黄的糖稀），喝着稀释的牛奶。
那个男人是个失业的工人，年轻灵活，能说会道，装腔作势，头脑敏锐，除了诚实和对他人有好处的事情外他似乎什么都能干。那个女人相貌平平，一副饱经风雨的穷苦相，看似六十岁，事实上可能只有四十五岁。即使他们是富人，裹着貂皮大衣，戴着手套和暖手筒，他们也会被冻得四肢麻木，分外可怜。因为这天是一月里寒冷刺骨的一天。仓库后面一片脏乱，透过刷白的院墙能看到，天空一片灰暗。稍看一眼这些，任何一位懒散的有钱人都会径直到地中海去了。但是这两位，因为冬天典当的衣服比夏天还多，寒冷迫使他们没心思去想地中海。他们没有因为寒冷而感到沮丧，反倒是被寒冷刺激得活泼起来，刚刚吃过的饭让他们变得几乎快活起来。男人推开杯子，站起身，双手插在口袋深处，在院子里到处走动，不时地跺跺脚。
妇人：吃过饭好一点儿了吗，先生？
男人：没有。那也叫饭啊？对你来说或许还算不错，但对我，一个聪明的工人，这根本就不算什么。
妇人：工人！你是做什么的？
男人：画家。
妇人：（怀疑地）是吗，我说。
男人：是的，你没说错！我知道，每个流浪者都自诩为画家。但我是个真正的画家，我画木纹，做最终润饰。有工作的时候，每个星期可以赚到三十八先令。
妇人：那你为什么不去找一份工作？
男人：我告诉你原因。第一，我太聪明——嘘……！这真冷（他跳了一两步）是的，太聪明了，聪明得资本家不高兴要我，他们不喜欢一个看透他们把戏的人。第二，一个聪明的人需要分享一点快乐，所以我有工作的时候就喝点烈性酒。第三，我站在我的阶级一边，活儿尽可能少干，把机会留给其他工友。第四，我非常机灵，知道什么是法律规定我做的，什么是法律没有规定的。规定我做的，我像资本家做的一样来干活，能捞一把是一把。要是这个世道好的话，我可能是个头脑冷静、勤勤恳恳、老老实实的人，入乡随俗嘛。结果呢？当生意不好了，刚才天气真坏，嗯，老板不得不解雇干活的人，他们一般从我开始。
妇人：你的名字叫什么？
男人：普赖斯，布隆特·欧布列恩·普赖斯。通常简称为斯诺比·普赖斯。
妇人：斯诺比是个木匠，是吗？刚才你说你是个画家。
普赖斯：不是势利的那种，是优雅的那种。我太傲慢了，因为我的聪明。我的父亲是一个宪章派，爱读书、爱思考，也是一个文具商。你别忘了，我不是像你一样是个普通的砍树工人和拉水工人。（他走回到桌子边的座位，拿起杯子）你叫什么？
妇人：拉米·米庆斯，先生。
普赖斯：（把剩下留给她的牛奶一口喝干）为你的健康干杯，米庆斯小姐。
拉米：（纠正他的错误）米庆斯夫人。
普赖斯：什么？哦，拉米，拉米！尊敬的已婚女人，拉米，被救世军救了，因为假装一个可怜的……一样的老把戏！
拉米：我能怎么样呢？我不能饿死。救世军的姑娘们都是好姑娘，但是你表现得好了不行，她们解救你之前，希望你越坏越好。为什么不给她们一些机会好好表现呢？她们天天被工作累得都不行了。如果我们不比其他人糟糕，她们到哪里去弄救我们的钱呢？你知道那些上等人的样子。
普赖斯：贪得无厌的猪猡！但愿我有他们那样的工作，拉米。拉米什么意思？也许是宠物名字？
拉米：罗牟拉的简称。
普赖斯：什么！？
拉米：罗牟拉。从一本新书里面来的。我母亲希望我长大了像这个人。
普赖斯：拉米，我们是不幸中的伴侣。我俩的名字别人都读不出来。因此，我是斯诺比，你是拉米，因为比尔和萨利对我们的父母来说不够好。这就是生活！
拉米：谁救你来的，普赖斯先生？是芭芭拉少校吗？
普赖斯：不，是我自己来这里的。我将要成为布隆特·欧布列恩·普赖斯，一个有了新信仰的画家。我知道她们喜欢什么，我得告诉她们我怎样骂人，怎样赌博，怎样打我那可怜的老妈妈……
拉米：（震惊地）你经常打你母亲？
普赖斯：不太可能。她过去常常打我。不管怎么说，你来听一个有新的信仰的画家说话，你会知到她是一个虔诚的女人，她把我放在她膝盖上教我祈祷，还会知道我过去怎样常常醉醺醺地回家，把她从床上拖到雪地里，把拨火棍子打她。
拉米：这对我们女人太不公平了。你们男人忏悔，就像我们撒谎一样。你们事实上都干了些什么，你们不告诉别人。但是你们男人可以在集会上谎话连篇，别人还为你们鼓掌。我们女人呢，没办法只好忏悔时，只能小声地说给一个人听。尽管这些姑娘都很虔诚地做好事，但还是不对劲。
普赖斯：对劲！如果什么都对劲了，你以为还允许救世军存在吗？不可能的。军队是来把我们一个个都变成乖乖巧巧的，好被剥削、被蹂躏。可是，他们玩的这套把戏我一样玩得很好。我会看到有人被雷劈，或听到有个声音说：“斯诺比·普赖斯，你将在哪里度过来生？”我告诉你，我忏悔的时候，可高兴了。
拉米：但是她们不会让你喝酒。
普赖斯：那我就把酒拿出去喝。如果我能通过其他方式得到乐趣，我就不想喝酒了。（珍妮·希尔是一个十八岁的救世军成员，她长得漂亮，但面色苍白，疲劳紧张，从院子大门走进来，扶着彼得·舍尔力，一个身子快要变得僵硬、衣衫褴褛的老人，他身体虚弱，饥饿难耐）
珍妮：（扶着他）来，振作点！我给你找点吃的，你一会儿就会好的。
普赖斯：（站起来，赶紧殷勤地跑过去，从珍妮手中接过这位老人）可怜的老人家，振作起来吧，兄弟！你很快就会发现这里让人安宁、祥和、快乐。小姐，赶紧去拿吃的吧，他很虚弱。（珍妮赶紧跑进屋子里面）喂，精神一点，老伯。她去给你拿一块厚厚的面包去了，还有一杯牛奶呢。（他扶他坐在桌子的拐角处）
拉米：（高兴地）不要这么没精打采的！不要说你会死掉！
舍尔利：我还不老，我才四十六岁，不到三十岁这些白头发就爬到我头上了。这些只要花三分钱买点染发剂就可以了，但他们却把我扔到大街上，为这个忍饥挨饿，这至于吗？主啊，我从十三岁起就开始每天十个小时到十二个小时地干活，从那时候开始就自己养活自已，就因为我黑头发变成白头发，就把我扔到污水沟，把我干的活让给一个不如我的年轻人，这至于吗？
普赖斯：（兴奋地）抱怨有什么用啊，你也就是一个干活的老头子，现在被人踹开，踢到一边儿去了，谁还管你啊？呃？也该叫那些贪得无厌的猪猡给你点吃的，他们从你那偷走的太多，也该还给你一点儿。（珍妮走回来，端着通常分量的吃的）来了，兄弟，祈祷一下就吃饭吧。
舍尔利：（饥肠辘辘地看着饭，但是没有碰，像个孩子般地哭起来）我从来没有白拿过别人的东西。
珍妮：（安慰他）吃吧，吃吧！这是主送给你的，他没有拒绝朋友的面包，你为什么要拒绝呢？另外，我们给你找到工作后，你愿意的话，还可以还给我们啊。
舍尔利：（迫切地）对，对，是这样。我可以还给你们，这算我欠你们的。（颤抖地）哦，主啊！主啊！（他转身到桌子边，开始狼吞虎咽起来）
珍妮：怎样了？拉米，舒服点了吗？
拉米：上帝保佑你，亲爱的。你喂饱了我的身体，救了我的灵魂，对不对？（珍妮非常感动，亲吻了她一下）坐下歇歇吧，你会累倒的。
珍妮：我从早上就开始忙个不停，但有忙不完的事情，我不能歇着。
拉米：祈祷两分钟吧，你会好些的。
珍妮：（她的眼睛亮起来）哦，祈祷几分钟特别管用，太奇妙了！十二点的时候，我已经累得头晕目眩，我太累了，但是芭芭拉少校让我去只祈祷了五分钟，我就能像刚一开始那样有劲了。（对普赖斯）你吃过面包了没有？
普赖斯：（虔诚地）是的，小姐。但是我的那片面包更为珍贵，它也让我的灵魂得到安宁。
拉米：（热诚地）赞美主吧！（比尔·沃克，面容粗俗，二十五岁左右，出现在院子门口，恶狠狠地看着珍妮）
珍妮：听了你的话我非常高兴，我觉得在这里闲着就像有罪，我得再去干活了。（她匆忙向收容所走去，沃克快速地向门口走去拦住她。他样子咄咄逼人，步步进逼，她只好往后退个不停）
比尔：我认得你，你是那个把老子的姑娘带走的那个娘们儿，就是你让她把老子踹了。哼，我要她给老子出来。不是他妈的老子还喜欢她，明白吗？但老子要她明白，也要你搞清楚，老子要教训教训她，尝尝把老子甩了的后果。听着，把她叫出来，省得老子进去把她一脚给踢出来。告诉她比尔·沃克要她，她会知道老子是什么意思。她要是让老子在这里等的话，她将死得更难看。你要是跟老子讨价还价，老子首先拿你开刀，听到没有？朝这边，滚进去。（他一把抓住她的胳膊，朝收容所的门口用力推去。她跌倒，手和膝盖着地。拉米把她扶起来）
普赖斯：（站起身，朝比尔犹豫地贴过去）别这么大火气，伙计。她又没招你惹你。
比尔：你叫谁伙计？（威胁地站到他面前）你要帮着她是吧？来啊。
拉米：（愤愤地跑到他面前骂他）哎呀，你这个野鬼——（他迅速抽出左手，打在她的脸上。她开始大叫，退回到石马槽上，坐在那里，双手捂着青肿的脸，身子摇来摇去，疼得呻吟不止）
珍妮：（朝她走过去）哦，上帝饶恕你吧！你怎能打这样的老太太呢？
比尔：（猛地抓住珍妮的头发，她也尖叫起来，并把她从拉米那里拽开）你要是再跟老子说一句上帝饶恕我的话，老子把你的嘴打烂，让你一个星期不得说话。（抓着她，凶狠地对着普赖斯）你有不同意见吗？嗯？
普赖斯：（被吓住）没有，伙计，她和我压根儿没关系。
比尔：这还差不多！老子把你喂饱两顿饭，打你也只需要一个指头，你这个快饿死的杂种。（朝珍妮）现在，是你去把哈比给老子揪出来，还是等老子把你的脸打烂，自己去揪？
珍妮：（在他的紧握下挣扎个不停）哦，求求你们哪位进去告诉芭芭拉少校——
（她又尖叫起来，因为他把她的头往下按；普赖斯和拉米逃到屋子里面）
比尔：你想去告诉你们的少校，对不对？
珍妮：求求你不要拽我的头发，放开我。
比尔：对还是不对？（珍妮忍着没有尖叫）对还是不对？
珍妮：上帝啊，给我力量吧——
比尔：（用拳头打她的脸）去告诉她吧，她要是也想吃我的拳头，就来找我麻烦吧。（珍妮疼痛不已，哭着走进收容所。他走到长凳子前，对老头子说话）听着，把这里收拾干净。给老子让开。
舍尔利：（跳起来，恶狠狠地对着他，手里拿着杯子）你要是跟我过不去，我用杯子把你的脸砸烂，把你的眼珠子挖出来。你们这些小狗日的，爹娘把你们喂养大，教育你们，你们却在这里逞能，打人欺负人。这里是积德的地方，吃着这里的面包，我们心里就过得去吗？
比尔：（轻蔑地，但是往后退了点）你算老几，你这个老不死的？你算老几！
舍尔利：比你强。你干一天活和我比比，就你这个岁数的胖酒鬼也行吗？你去郝老克工厂干干我的活试试，我在那里可干了十年了。他们那里只要年轻人，他们养不起四十五岁以上的人。他们装出同情的样子——我们给你开一封介绍信，很高兴帮助您找到适合您年龄的工作——确保像您这么结实的人很快就会找到工作的。好啊，你去试试啊。他们很快就发现你差得远。你懂个啥？你连自己在干啥都不知道——居然还伸出你的臭手，打这样一个值得尊敬的女人的嘴！
比尔：不要把我惹火了，不然连你也一样揍，听到没有？
舍尔利：（带着鄙夷的神情）嗯，打完了女人，又要开始打老头儿了，你真了不起，我怎么没有看到你打一个年轻的试试。
比尔：（不安地）你胡说，你这个吃救济饭的老东西。刚才这里不是有一个年轻人吗？我没有敢打他吗？
舍尔利：他饿得不行了是不是？他也算一个男人吗？他不过是一个偷鸡摸狗的小混混。你敢和我女婿的哥哥打一架吗？
比尔：他是谁？
舍尔利：包塘鲍旁德费尔。他在音乐厅胜过那个日本摔跤的。十七分零四秒都没有倒下，结果赢了二十英镑呢。
比尔：（闷闷不乐地）我不在那里摔跤。他会拳击吗？
舍尔利：当然，你才不行吧！
比尔：什么！我不行，我不行吗？你再说一遍（威胁他）？
舍尔利：（丝毫不为所动）如果我让你和费尔打一场，你愿不愿意？你说啊。
比尔：（垂头丧气）跟谁打我都不怕，十个费尔我也不怕。但我不是专业的。
舍尔利：（无比轻蔑地昂首看着他）就你还拳击！你也就会用你的臭手打老太太！打人要让法官一丝也看不出痕迹来，这个你都不懂，你这个自以为了不起的蠢货。你打那个姑娘的下巴，仅仅把她打哭了！如果费尔打了她，她十分钟也站不起来，打你一拳你也爬不起来。没错儿，要是我一个星期吃得饱饱的，而不是饿了两个月，我就和你好好打一架。（他回到桌子旁接着吃饭）
比尔：（走到他跟前，弯下腰，以便他将骂声听得更清楚）你撒谎！你跑到这里来要饭，你刚刚才吃过。
舍尔利：（突然哭起来）哦，上帝啊！他说得对，我就是个垃圾堆上的老叫花子。（愤怒地）但你也会有这么一天的，到那时候你就知道了。你的那一天很快就来，我不喝酒，不像你是个酒鬼，今早灌了一肚子黄汤。
比尔：我才不是个酒鬼，你这个老撒谎精。但我想好好教训一顿我的那个娘们儿，我需要一点东西壮壮胆，明白吗？我在这里干嘛呢？跟你这么一个没用的老笨蛋在费口舌。（他自己越说越生气）老子去把她给揪出来。（他向门口走去，一副复仇的样子）
舍尔利：你啊，十有八九横着被抬到警察局去了，你进去后，你的那些黄汤和壮胆的东西都会被倒腾出来。你在这里小心点，这里的少校是史蒂文森伯爵的外孙女。
比尔：（傻眼）瞎说！
舍尔利：你等着瞧呗。
比尔：（他有点发慌了）嗯，我又没有惹她。
舍尔利：如果她说你惹了呢？谁相信你啊？
比尔：（非常不安地，退到棚屋的角落）天哪，这个国家太不公平了。他们这些人什么都能做得出！我哪里不如她？
舍尔利：你跟她当面讲去。只有傻瓜才像你这么做。
（芭芭拉从收容所里面出来，拿着一本笔记本，活泼轻快，一本正经的样子，对舍尔利说话。比尔坐在角落里面的凳子上，背对着他们，一副害怕的样子）
芭芭拉：早上好。
舍尔利：（站起身来，摘下帽子）早上好，小姐。
芭芭拉：坐下，不要客气。（他犹豫不敢坐，但她把手友好地搭在他的肩膀上，使他坐下）从现在开始，咱们是朋友了，我们想了解你的一切。姓名、地址、职业。
舍尔利：彼得·舍尔利。装配工。因为太老，两个月前被解雇。
芭芭拉：（丝毫不惊讶）看不出来啊。你为何不染发？
舍尔利：我的确染了。验尸官询问我女儿情况的时候，我的年龄瞒不住了。
芭芭拉：有没有不良嗜好？
舍尔利：从不喝酒。干了一辈子从没被解雇过，是一个好工人，现在像一匹老马一样被送到屠马场了！
芭芭拉：没关系，如果你做好了你的工作，上帝也会做好他的工作的。
舍尔利：（突然固执起来）我只相信我自己。
芭芭拉：（猜测的）我明白，世俗论者？
舍尔利：（激动的）我否认过吗？
芭芭拉：你干嘛要否认呢？我父亲就是一个世俗论者。我们的父亲，我们的主，会通过各种方法来完成他的意愿。我敢肯定地说，他把你变成一个世俗论者，他知道目的是什么。所以，彼得，振作起来吧！我们一定能为你这样一个好工人找到工作的。（舍尔利被说服了，举起帽子敬了个礼。她转身向比尔）你的姓名？
比尔：（傲慢无礼地）关你什么事？
芭芭拉：（平静地记录）不敢说出姓名。那职业呢？
比尔：谁不敢说出姓名？（顽强地，感觉想借助反对史蒂文伯爵家人来公然违抗上议院的样子）你要想告我就告去吧。（她等着，神情自若）本人大名比尔·沃克。
芭芭拉：（似乎熟悉这个名字，使劲地在想怎么知道的）比尔·沃克？（回想）哦，我知道了，你就是珍妮·希尔刚才在屋子里面向上帝祈祷的那个人。（她在笔记本上记下名字）
比尔：谁是珍妮·希尔？她为什么为我祈祷？
芭芭拉：我不知道。也许是因为你把她的嘴唇打破了。
比尔：（对抗地）没错，是大爷把她的嘴唇打破了。你，大爷也不怕。
芭芭拉：你连上帝都不怕，你怎么会怕我呢？你是一个勇敢的人，沃克先生。来我们这儿工作是需要勇气的，但是我们没有一个人敢打像小珍妮这样的女孩，因为我们害怕她在天上的父亲。
比尔：（气愤地）我不相信你们念的什么经，我想你是以为我来这里是为了向你讨口饭吃，像这个无用的废物一样。我才不是呢，我不需要你的面包屑和那些稀稀拉拉的喝的东西。我不相信你那个什么主，你自己其实也不信。
芭芭拉：（愉快地表示歉意，表现出贵妇人的样子，似乎和他处于一种新的社会关系）哦，请原谅我把您的名字记下来了，沃克先生。我刚才没有明白怎么回事。我把您名字去掉。
比尔：（认为这是一种轻视，并且深深地受到伤害）去你的！不要把我名字去掉，难道留在你本子上有什么不好吗？
芭芭拉：（考虑地）嗯，你知道，如果我不能为您做点什么，记下您的名字就没有用的，是吧？您的职业是什么？
比尔：（仍然粗鲁地）这不关你的事。
芭芭拉：是的。（非常认真地）我把你的职业记为（在写着）打可怜的小珍妮嘴巴的人。
比尔：（威胁地站起来）打住，我对你的行为受够了。
芭芭拉：（非常快活地，没有一丝惧怕）那您为什么来我们这里？
比尔：我来找我的姑娘，明白吗？我来这里是要领她走，并要把她的嘴巴打烂。
芭芭拉：（自鸣得意地）你看吧，我说你的职业是打人的，一点也没错吧。（比尔正准备愤怒地反驳，突然发现自己感到无比耻辱和恐惧，差一点儿哭起来。他又突然坐下）她叫什么名字？
比尔：（固执的）她的名字叫阿比莫格，这就是她的名字。
芭芭拉：哦，她到康宁镇去了，我们的营地在那儿。
比尔：（由于憎恨莫格的背叛，又开始凶悍起来）是吗？（报复地）那我去康宁镇找她。（他穿过大门，犹豫了一下，最后走回到芭芭拉身边）你是在骗我，好让我离开这里，是吗？
芭芭拉：比尔——我不想你离开这里，我想你留在这里，好让我拯救你的灵魂。你最好留在这，否则，比尔，你今天日子不好过的。
比尔：谁敢跟我过去不？或许是你吧。
芭芭拉：是一个你不信任的人，但以后你会高兴的。
比尔：（打算溜走）我要去康宁镇，避开你那张嘴。（突然将强烈的怨恨发泄到芭芭拉身上）如果我在那里没有找到莫格，我回来跟你算账，跟你没完，如果我找不到，你就见你的主去吧。
芭芭拉：（尽可能的更和善了一点）没有的，比尔。她找到另一个小伙子啦。
比尔：什么！
芭芭拉：是一个自己转变信仰的人。当他看到她的灵魂得救，脸洗得干净，头发也洗过，他便爱上了她。
比尔：（惊讶地）她洗头发干什么？她是红头发，跟胡萝卜以似，这个骚货。
芭芭拉：现在可好看呢，因为现在她眼睛里面有一种新的神情。可惜啊，你太晚了。她那个新的小伙子把你踹了，比尔。
比尔：我要把他给踹了。我他妈的一点儿也不喜欢她了，别忘了。但我要好好教训她，让她看看把我像倒灰一样踢开的下场。我还要教训教训那个臭小子，让他勾搭我的姑娘。那个臭小子叫什么来着？
芭芭拉：费尔中土。
舍尔利：（非常快乐地站起来）我陪他一起去，小姐。我要看看他俩怎么打架的。打完了之后，我好把他送到医院去。
比尔：（带着毫不掩饰的疑虑对舍尔利说）他就是你刚才说的那个？
舍尔利：没错，是他。
比尔：就是在音乐厅摔跤的人？
舍尔利：他一年在国家体育俱乐部的比赛就可以挣到大概一百块钱。他现在洗手不干了，开始相信宗教。他正好又来新鲜劲了，想要练习练习，你去那儿，他一定会很高兴的。走吧。
比尔：他身子多重？
舍尔利：一百三十四磅。（比尔的最后一丝希望也破灭了）
芭芭拉：去和他谈谈吧，比尔。他会改变你的。
舍尔利：他会把你的头变成烂土豆泥。
比尔：（闷闷不乐）我不怕他。我谁也不怕。但他可能打得过我。她把我害惨了。（他郁闷地坐在石槽边上）
舍尔利：你不去了吗？早就料到你不敢去的。（他重新坐下）
芭芭拉：（喊人）珍妮！
珍妮：（出现在门口，嘴角贴着膏药）在，少校。
芭芭拉：让拉米把这里打扫一下。
珍妮：我想她不敢来。
芭芭拉：（顷刻之间，很像她的母亲）胡说！我命令她，她必须来。
珍妮：（向收容所处叫喊）拉米，少校说你必须出来。（珍妮走向芭芭拉，故意靠近比尔这边，以防他以为她害怕或怀恨在心）
芭芭拉：可怜的小珍妮！你累了吧？（看着受伤的脸颊）还疼吗？
珍妮：不疼了，现在没事了。这没什么。
芭芭拉：（批评地）我看他打你时用的劲可够大的。可怜的比尔！你不会生他的气，是吧？
珍妮：哦，不会的，不会的，说真的，我不会的，少校，上帝保佑他可怜的灵魂吧！（芭芭拉吻了一下珍妮，珍妮快乐地跑进收容所去了。比尔重新感到一种可怕的征兆，非常痛苦，坐立不安，但沉默不语。拉米从收容所里面走出来）
芭芭拉：（向拉米走去）拉米，振作点吧。把这些杯子盘子拿去洗洗，把那些面包屑扔掉喂鸟吧。（拉米拿起三个盘子和杯子，但舍尔利从她的手里拿回他的杯子，因为里面还留着一点牛奶）
拉米：没有面包屑。现在不是浪费好吃的面包来喂鸟的时候啊。
普赖斯：（出现在收容所门口）少校，有位先生来参观收容所，他说是您父亲。
芭芭拉：好吧，马上来。（斯诺比走进收容所，芭芭拉跟在身后）
拉米：（溜到比尔面前，压低声音信心十足地对他说）要不是少校不让，我早就把你好揍一顿，你这个扁耳朵猪鼻子的流氓。你打一个有身份的女孩子的脸，真够无耻的。（比尔怒火愈旺，毫不理会）
舍尔利：（跟在她身后）好了，进去吧，别跟他说话了，省得又惹麻烦。
拉米：（傲慢地）我怎么不记得我认识你呀。（她拿着盘子走进收容所）
舍尔利：那是……
比尔：（野蛮地）不要和老子说话了，听到没有，别管老子，否则老子跟你不客气了。别把我当做踩在脚下的泥灰。
舍尔利：（平静地）你不用害怕。你以为别人盼着找你说话啊。（芭芭拉走出来，安德谢夫在她右边，舍尔利正准备走进收容所）
芭芭拉：哦，舍尔利先生，你在这儿！（站在舍尔利和安德谢夫中间）这是我父亲，我跟你说过他是一个世俗论者，是吧？你们或许可以相互谈谈。
安德谢夫：（惊讶地）世俗论者！根本就不是，恰恰相反，我是一个地道的神秘主义者。
芭芭拉：对不起，顺便问一下，爸爸，你的宗教是什么？万一我不得不再次介绍您呢？
安德谢夫：我的宗教？嗯，亲爱的，我是一个百万富翁，这就是我的宗教。
芭芭拉：那我担心您和舍尔利先生谈不到一起去了。您不是一个百万富翁，是吧，彼得？
舍尔利：不是，而且我非常自豪我不是一个百万富翁。
安德谢夫：（严肃地）朋友，贫穷没有什么好自豪的。
舍尔利：（生气地）谁让你变得腰缠万贯的？是我和像我一样的人。什么让我们是穷人？让你们成为有钱人？不管你收入多高，我不想要你的良心。
安德谢夫：不管你的良心有多好，我不想要你的收入，舍尔利先生。（他朝棚屋走去，坐在石凳子上）
芭芭拉：（舍尔利正准备反驳，芭芭拉灵巧地将他制止）您认为他不是我的父亲，是吗，彼得？请到屋子里面去，帮姑娘们一会儿，我们都在忙个不停。
舍尔利：（痛苦地）好的，我欠她们一顿饭，对吧？
芭芭拉：哦，不是因为您欠她们的。而是因为你爱她们，彼得，因为爱她们。（他不能理解，非常反感）去吧，不要盯着我看。进去吧，让您的良心放个假。（催促他进屋）
舍尔利：（他往屋里走时）啊！真遗憾，你没有经过培训来使用逻辑，小姐。否则。你将是一位非常有感染力的世俗论宣讲师。（芭芭拉转向她父亲）
安德谢夫：不要担心我，亲爱的。你忙你的事情去吧，让我在这儿看一会儿。
芭芭拉：好吧。
安德谢夫：瞧，那位门诊病人怎么啦？
芭芭拉：（看看比尔，他的态度还没有任何改变，他生了许多怒气，更想要发泄了）哦，我们很快就会治好他的病。看一会儿就知道了。（她朝比尔走去，在一边等着。他有些不自在，但比刚才要更加严肃得多，用眼睛朝她瞥了一下，又低头朝下看着）非要在莫格脸上打上巴掌你才痛快，是吧，比尔？
比尔：（惊慌失措地从马槽上跳下来）你说谎；我从来没这样说过。（她摇摇头）谁告诉你我脑子里怎么想的啊？
芭芭拉：你刚刚交的那个朋友啊。
比尔：什么朋友？
芭芭拉：魔鬼啊，比尔。它缠人的时候，人就会变得痛苦，就像你一样。
比尔：（内心痛苦不堪，但努力保持兴高采烈的样子）我怎么会痛苦啊。（他重新坐下来，伸出两腿，装出毫不在意的样子）
芭芭拉：噢，你要是开心，为什么不像我们一样一副开心的样子呢？
比尔：（两腿身不由己地缩回来）我非常高兴啊，我告诉你。你为什么老是烦我？我做什么惹你了？我又没有打你的脸，是不是？
芭芭拉：（温柔地，招引他的灵魂）不是我要缠着你，比尔。
比尔：那是谁？
芭芭拉：我看是一个不想要你以后再打女人脸的人吧，他要让你成为一个男子汉。
比尔：（咆哮）让我成为男子汉！我不是男子汉吗？我不是男子汉吗？谁说老子不是男子汉？
芭芭拉：你的身体里面有一个男子汉，但是他为什么允许你打可怜的小珍妮呢？他不够男子汉，是吧？
比尔：（受折磨的样子）我受够了，我告诉你。别提这事情了，你的小珍妮那张傻兮兮的小脸，我见了就恶心。
芭芭拉：那你为什么老是想着这件事情呢？为什么它老是在你脑子里面折腾你呢？你不会自己改变信仰了，是吧？
比尔：（肯定地）我才不会呢，绝对不可能。
芭芭拉：好吧，比尔。你就这么强撑着吧，使出你的全部力气，不要让自己轻易投降。费尔说他跟救世军抵抗了三个晚上，比他跟那个日本人在音乐厅摔跤要难得多。他向那个日本人投降，是因为他的胳膊受不住了。但是他直到心里受不住了才向救世军屈服的。或许你可以避开这种事情，因为你根本就没有心，是吧？
比尔：你什么意思？我为什么和别人不一样，没有心啊？
芭芭拉：一个有心的男子汉不会打可怜的小珍妮的脸，是吧？
比尔：（几乎要叫起来）哎呀，求求你放过我好不好？我什么时候得罪过你，你这么对我絮絮叨叨，想惹我生气？（他从眼到脚浑身扭动不安）
芭芭拉：（将手放在他的胳膊上，语气温和，充满抚慰，使他无法挣脱）是你的灵魂伤害了你，比尔，不是我。我们自己已经经历过了，和我们一起来吧，比尔。（他四下看了看，快疯掉了）为了人间的勇敢，也为了天国里永远的荣耀。（他快要崩溃了）来吧。（屋子里传来击鼓声；芭芭拉迅速转身看，此时，比尔抽了一口气，感觉从芭芭拉的魔掌中逃脱出来）哦！多理，是你啊。我来介绍一下我的这位新朋友，比尔·沃克先生。比尔。这是我的那位，库恩斯先生。（库恩斯举起鼓槌敬礼）
比尔：你将嫁给他？
芭芭拉：是的。
比尔：（热心地）上帝保佑他吧！上帝保佑他吧！
芭芭拉：为什么这么说？难道你认为他跟我在一起不幸福吗？
比尔：我只需忍受一个早晨，而他要忍受一辈子。
库恩斯：你的想法很可怕，沃克先生。但我不能离开她。
比尔：嗯，我能离开。（对芭芭拉）听着，你知道我要去哪儿？我要去做什么吗？
芭芭拉：知道，你是去天堂，不到一个星期你就会回来，告诉我们这些。
比尔：你说谎，我去康宁镇，去朝那个费尔眼睛里吐一口吐沫。我在珍妮脸上打了一拳，现在我要我的脸上也挨一拳，回来让她看看。他打我比我打她要厉害。这样我们就扯平了。（对库恩斯）这公平不公平？你是个绅士，你应该明白的。
芭芭拉：两个人的眼睛都打青了就扯平了吗，比尔。
比尔：我没有问你。你可不可以把你的嘴闭上？我问这位绅士呢。
库恩斯：（思考地）是的，我想你是对的，沃克先生。是的，要是我；我也会这么做的。很有趣，这和古希腊人的做法完全相同。
芭芭拉：可是，这有什么好处呢？
库恩斯：这个嘛，这能给费尔先生一个锻炼身体的机会啊，同时也让沃克先生的灵魂得到了满足。
比尔：少废话！灵魂，从来没有这种东西。那你可以告诉我，我有灵魂吗？你可从来没有见过。
芭芭拉：你违背你的灵魂的时候，我看见它在折磨你。
比尔：（压抑着自己的怒气）如果你是我的对象，并且拿我说的话来堵我，我就会狠揍你一顿，让你感觉到我的厉害。（对库恩斯）伙计，听我一句，别让她这么唠叨个没完，否则你活不了多久。（言辞更强烈）折腾死，这就是你的下场，把你折腾死。（沃克穿过大门走出去了）
库恩斯：（看着沃克的背影）没准啊！
芭芭拉：多理！（非常气愤地，很像她的母亲）
库恩斯：我在，亲爱的。爱你真不容易啊。如果这样继续下去的话，很可能我会英年早逝的。
芭芭拉：后悔了吗？
库恩斯：一点儿也不。（他突然温柔了起来，在鼓上亲吻她。这显然不是头一回，因为如果没有练习过，隔着鼓，人是无法亲吻的。安德谢夫咳嗽一下）
芭芭拉：别担心，爸爸，我们没忘记您啦。多理，给爸爸介绍一下这个地方，我没有空。（她匆忙走进屋子里面去了）（院子里面只有安德谢夫和库恩斯两个人。安德谢夫坐在板凳上，仍然密切地观察着周围。他思忖着库恩斯，库恩斯也在琢磨着他）
安德谢夫：库恩斯先生，我想你猜到我在想什么。（库恩斯挥舞起鼓槌，似乎要击鼓，但是又没有发出任何声音）的确如此。但是，要是芭芭拉看破了你的目的，你怎么办？
库恩斯：您要知道，我不承认我是在欺骗芭芭拉。我对救世军的想法抱有真诚的兴趣。事实上，我是一个各种宗教的收藏家，有意思的是，我对所有的宗教都相信。顺便问一下，您相信宗教吗？
安德谢夫：是的。
库恩斯：有什么不一样的地方？
安德谢夫：只有一条，那就是要得救的话，只有两件东西。
库恩斯：（失望的，但还是有礼貌的）啊，教堂里面的一问一答。查尔斯·罗马克斯也属于教堂里的信徒。
安德谢夫：这两件东西是……
库恩斯：洗礼——
安德谢夫：不，金钱和火药。
库恩斯：（惊讶不已，但饶有兴致）这是我们统治阶级的普通观点。不过听人对此供认不讳，还是很新鲜的事。
安德谢夫：的确如此。
库恩斯：抱歉，您的宗教里面，留有荣誉、正义、真理、和仁爱这些东西吗？
安德谢夫：当然，它们可以给富足安全、强大有力的生活增添雅趣和奢侈。
库恩斯：如果要是在两者之间，非得做个选择，您选择金钱还是火药呢？
安德谢夫：两个都选，因为如果没有足够的金钱和火药，其他的你什么也买不起。
库恩斯：这就是您的宗教？
安德谢夫：没错。（安德谢夫这样回答的腔调使得谈话停止下来。库恩斯满脸疑虑地思忖着安德谢夫，安德谢夫也在琢磨着库恩斯）
库恩斯：芭芭拉不会容忍您的宗教的。您必须在宗教和芭芭拉之间作出选择。
安德谢夫：你也是。朋友。她会发现。你的大鼓里面是空的。
库恩斯：安德谢夫大人，您错了。我是一个真诚的救世军。您并不了解救世军，它是一支充满快乐、仁爱和勇气的军队。它把那些老的教会所宣扬的恐惧、忏悔和对地狱的绝望都统统去掉，它勇往直前，吹着喇叭打着鼓，唱歌跳舞，摇着旗帜和棕榈叶，和魔鬼斗争，它是一支传播天堂里面快乐的卫戍部队。它在酒馆里面挑出一个废物，把他变成一个男子汉；它能把一个围着灶台转的可怜虫变成一个真正的女人！那些有身份的男人女人们，都成为了上帝的儿女。它把一个可怜的希腊文教授从它草根阶层的生活中解救出来，他本来是人类最矫揉造作、最自我压抑的人，现在也可以在他大脑里自由地狂想。它还让他崇拜酒神狄厄尼索斯，让他在大街上的众人面前漂亮地打鼓。（他在鼓上敲出雷鸣般的声音）
安德谢夫：你会把屋子里的人吓着的。
库恩斯：哦，他们已经习惯了这种对宗教的虔诚和狂热。但是，如果鼓声让您不安（他把鼓槌放进口袋里，从身上解下鼓，将鼓正对着门道放在地上）
安德谢夫：谢谢。
库恩斯：你记得希腊的悲剧诗人欧里庇得斯是如何评论您的金钱和火药的吗？
安德谢夫：不知道。
库恩斯：（高声朗诵）
金钱和武器，
难容亲兄弟。
尘世众生漂，
梦想多如毛。
输赢人不同，
圆破梦各异。
岁月悠万古，
生者即幸福。
天下谁人知，
知者享天年。
我的翻译，您认为如何？
安德谢夫：朋友，我想如果你希望知道，岁月悠万古，生者即幸福，你必须获得足够多的金钱，才能过上体面的生活，只有拥有足够的权力，才可以做你自己的主人。
库恩斯：该死，你说的话真叫人气馁。（继续高声朗诵）
天意水恒在，
道义千古存。
试问俗世人，
此意难知晓？
上天最伟大，
除此无智功。
欲无烦恼扰，
等待不用急。
命运握手中，
永爱芭芭拉。
安德谢夫：欧里庇得斯提到过芭芭拉吗？
库恩斯：这样翻译没有什么不妥，芭芭拉就是活泼可爱的意思。
安德谢夫：作为芭芭拉的父亲，我可以问问她永远被爱着，一年可以有多少钱来生活？
库恩斯：作为芭芭拉的父亲，您更适合回答这个问题。我可以靠教授希腊文来养活她，这是我所能做到的一切了。
安德谢夫：你认为你和她很般配吗？
库恩斯：（礼貌但又倔犟的）安德谢夫先生，从许多方面来说，我是一个软弱、胆怯、没有什么出息的人。另外，我的健康状况也远非让人满意。但是，不管什么时候，当我感到我必须得到什么东西，我就肯定会得到，这只是个早晚的问题。对芭芭拉，我有这种感觉。我不喜欢结婚，我非常害伯婚姻。我不知道对芭芭拉我该怎么办，我也不知道她会把我怎么办。但是，我感到只有我必须娶她为妻，其他任何人都不可以。这是铁板钉钉子的事情，请您尊重这一点。不是我独断专行，而是我不想浪费您宝贵的时间，来讨论不可避免要发生的事情。
安德谢夫：你的意思是什么也阻挡不了你，哪怕是要把救世军改变成对酒神的崇拜。
库恩斯：救世军的工作是拯救世界，而不是为了谁是指路人而争论不已。酒神还是另外一个神，这重要吗？
安德谢夫：（站起来向库恩斯走过去）库恩斯教授，你是一个符合我心意的年轻人。
库恩斯：安德谢夫先生，就我现在所知道的，你是一个恶魔，一个老坏蛋。但是，出于我……（安德谢夫默不作声地伸出手，他们的手握在一起）
安德谢夫：（突然精神集中起来）现在谈谈正事吧。
库恩斯：抱歉。我们正在讨论宗教呢，为什么回到那些无聊又不重要的所谓正经事上去呢？
安德谢夫：宗教是目前我们的正经事，因为只有通过宗教我们才可以赢得芭芭拉。
库恩斯：您也爱上了芭芭拉吗？
安德谢夫：是的，一个父亲的爱。
库恩斯：父亲对已经长大成人的女儿的爱，是所有糊涂的事物中最危险的东西。很抱歉，我提到了我的苍白无力的、怯生生的、缺乏信任的感情。
安德谢夫：回到正题吧。我们必须把她赢回来，我们两个都不是卫理公会派教徒。
库恩斯：这没有关系。芭芭拉在这里有支配的权力——也是支配芭芭拉自己的权力——不是来自于加尔文教派，不是来自于长老会教派，也不是来自于卫理公会教派。
安德谢夫：也不是希腊的异教，对吧？
库恩斯：我承认如此。芭芭拉的宗教信仰是她自己创造的。
安德谢夫：（胜利地）啊哈！这样芭芭拉才配姓安德谢夫。她的灵感来自于她自己的内心。
库恩斯：您认为这种灵感是怎么跑到她心里去的呢？
安德谢夫：（极度兴奋）这是安德谢夫家族祖传的。我将把我的火炬传给我的女儿。她将要帮我改变众生信仰，传播我的福音——
库恩斯：什么！金钱和火药！
安德谢夫：不错，金钱和火药、自由和权势。生杀予夺的大权。
库恩斯：（不失文雅地，想把他拉回现实）这真是有趣极了，安德谢夫先生。您当然知道您这是在说疯话。
安德谢夫：（带着双重肯定）那你呢？
库恩斯：噢，我也疯得厉害。我既然发现了您的秘密，也就不向您隐瞒我的了。但让我惊讶的是，一个疯人能造大炮吗？
安德谢夫：除了疯人，还有谁能呢？现在（愈发来劲地），我也问问你，人要是不疯，能翻译欧里庇得斯吗？
库恩斯：不能。
安德谢夫：（抓住他的肩膀）一个姑娘要是不疯，能教浪子回头，能把毛虫变成良妇吗？
库恩斯：（在这突如其来的暴风雨前晕头转向）了不起的老爷子——亿万富豪——
安德谢夫：（步步紧逼）那今天救世军的收容所里是有两个疯子呢，还是三个？
库恩斯：你是说芭芭拉和我们一样疯？
安德谢夫：（轻轻推开他，突然完全恢复了平静）哼！教授！还是让我们还事情原貌吧。我是有钱人，你是诗人，而芭芭拉是救人灵魂的。我们三个和这群奴隶和盲从者有什么相干？（他又坐下，耸耸肩，以示对这群人的鄙视）
库恩斯：小心说话，芭芭拉爱上了这群平民，我也是。你从来没感受到过这种爱带来的激情吗？
安德谢夫：（冷淡而讽刺地）你爱上过贫穷吗，就像圣弗朗西斯？你爱上过肮脏吗，就像圣西蒙？或者你爱上过疾病和苦难吗，就像我们的护士和慈善家们？这种激情不是什么美德，而是一切罪恶中最悖于常情的。爱平民，这也许会叫一位伯爵大人的外孙女儿和一位大学教授高兴；但我呢，当过平民，也做过穷人，这却引不起我什么激情。管穷困叫享受，那是穷人们的事；把卑躬屈膝变成宗教信仰，那是胆小鬼的事；我们比他们清楚多了。我们三个一定要站在一起，踩在平民头上，不然的话，我们还怎么叫他们的子孙跟着我们一起爬？芭芭拉是我们的，不是救世军的。
库恩斯：那么，我只能说，如果想拿您对我说的这一套去劝服芭芭拉脱离救世军，那您就太不了解您女儿了。
安德谢夫：朋友，我可绝不向人要花钱就能买到的东西。
库恩斯：（气得脸颊发白）那你就是说你可以收买芭芭拉了？
安德谢夫：不是。我要收买的是救世军。
库恩斯：根本办不到。
安德谢夫：你该看得出来，哪一个宗教团体不是靠把自己卖给富人而存活的？
库恩斯：救世军不会。这是穷人的教会。
安德谢夫：那更有理由买下它来了。
库恩斯：我想您还不大明白救世军是怎么帮助穷人的。
安德谢夫：哦，我当然知道。它削弱穷人的斗志：这对我，一个商人，可就足够了。
库恩斯：胡说！那是教他们更清醒——
安德谢夫：我喜欢清醒的工人。能给我赚更多的钱。
库恩斯：还有忠实——
安德谢夫：用忠实的工人最经济划算了。
库恩斯：教他们顾家——
安德谢夫：那再好不过。他们会忍受一切也不换工作。
库恩斯：教他们快乐——
安德谢夫：那是扼杀革命的无价之宝啊。
库恩斯：教他们不求私利——
安德谢夫：不计较他们自己的利益，正合我意。
库恩斯：教他们向往天堂的一切——
安德谢夫：（起身）而不去想什么工会组织和社会主义。简直完美。
库恩斯：（反感）您真不愧是老奸巨滑，恶中之恶。
安德谢夫：（指着舍尔利。他正从屋子里出来，沮丧地在院子里踱步，从两人中间过）这是个老实人！
舍尔利：那是不错，可我得着什么好了？（他悲愤地走过去，坐在棚屋一角的凳子上）（“势利鬼”普赖斯假装虔诚，和珍妮·希尔端着个装满铜钱的小手鼓一同从屋子里出来到了大鼓边。珍妮把钱倒在大鼓上，开始查点）
安德谢夫：（答着舍尔利的话）哦，就你这老实劲儿，你的雇主也从头到尾得了不少好处了。（他坐在桌子上，一脚蹬在旁边的凳子上。库恩斯茫然无措，坐在同一条凳子靠屋那一头。芭芭拉从屋里来到院中央，兴奋中带着疲倦）
芭芭拉：我们刚在克里普斯胡同后门那儿开过会，效果好极了。你的忏悔感人之深是我很少见到的，普赖斯先生。
普赖斯：要是我先前做的那些恶事儿真能帮助别人从良，我甚至都要庆幸了。
芭芭拉：可不是嘛，势利鬼。珍妮，多少啊？
珍妮：差两便士就五先令了，少校。
芭芭拉：哦，势利鬼，要是你当初多踢你那可怜的妈妈一脚，我们今天就能凑整整五先令了。
普赖斯：要是她听到你的话，小姐，她会遗憾我没这么做。但我高兴极了。哦，要是她知道我得救了，该会多高兴啊！
安德谢夫：要我把那两便士补上吗，芭芭拉？大富豪一点儿小意思呢？（他从口袋里摸出几个小便士来）
芭芭拉：你怎么赚到那两便士的？
安德谢夫：老样子。卖大炮、水雷、潜水艇，还有我最近得到的“大公爵”牌手榴弹的专卖权。
芭芭拉：把它们放回口袋吧。你想在这儿花两便士买个救赎，那可不成。必须用实际行动做到。
安德谢夫：两便土不够吗？我还能再多付一点，如果你真要的话。
芭芭拉：两万万也不够。您手上沾着肮脏的血渍，只有诚心善意才能洗刷。钱是没有用的。拿走吧（她转向库恩斯）多理，你还得再替我给几家报纸写封信。（库恩斯蹙眉）我知道你不乐意写，但是非写不可。今年冬天的饥荒打垮我们了：人人都失业了。将军说如果再捐不到钱，收容所就得关门。在集会上我强迫他们捐钱，弄得自己都不好意思了。是不是，势利鬼？
普赖斯：是你那股工作劲头打动他们的，小姐。从三先令六便士到四先令十便士那会儿，圣歌一句一句地唱，铜板一个一个地来，真是过瘾。那些个做小买卖的可比您差远啦。
芭芭拉：是啊，但我们要是不必这么干就好了。我现在反倒更关心捐款而不是拯救人们的灵魂了。那一帽子一帽子的便士，算什么？我们需要成千的！上万的！几十万的！我要的是人们的皈依，而不是总为救世军讨饭。要是为我自己的话，真还不如死了好。
安德谢夫：（带着意味深长的讽刺）真正的无私是什么事都可以做的，亲爱的。
芭芭拉：（并未怀疑这是讽刺。她走过去把钱从大鼓上拿到随身带的钱袋里）一点不错。（安德谢夫带着讥讽看看库恩斯）
库恩斯：（私下对安德谢夫）您真是靡非斯特！是马基雅弗利！
芭芭拉：（两眼含泪把钱袋扎紧放进衣袋）我们可怎么养活他们？我不能跟一个饿得两眼发昏的人谈宗教啊。（几近崩溃）真是可怕。
珍妮：（跑过去）少校，亲爱的——
芭芭拉：（又鼓足劲头）不，不必安慰我。会好的。我们会弄到钱的。
安德谢夫：怎么个弄法？
珍妮：当然是通过祈祷了。贝恩斯太太说她昨晚做祷告了，她的祈求没有一回不灵的。（她走到门口朝大街上望）
芭芭拉：（擦干眼泪又恢复到镇静）顺便告诉您，爸爸，贝恩斯太太来了，下午会跟我们一起开大会；由于某种原因，她非常想见见您。也许她认为能劝服您吧。
安德谢夫：我也乐意见见她，亲爱的。
珍妮：（在门口，激动地）少校！少校！那个人又来了。
芭芭拉：哪个人？
珍妮：打我的那个人。哦，我希望他是回来加入我们的。（比尔·沃克走进门来，外衣上沾着霜，两手深深地插在口袋里，低着头好像下巴埋在两肩里，像输得精光的赌徒。他停在芭芭拉和大鼓之间）
芭芭拉：嗨，比尔！都回来啦！
比尔：（指着她）你一直唠叨到现在，是吧？
芭芭拉：差不多。那么，你打珍妮嘴巴，费尔给她报仇了吗？
比尔：没有。
芭芭拉：我刚才见你身上沾了雪呢。
比尔：是有点雪。你想知道这雪是从哪来吗？
芭芭拉：是啊。
比尔：这是康宁镇派克塞斯角地上的雪。蹭了一点儿到肩膀上。明白吗？
芭芭拉：可惜你没蹭一点儿到膝盖上，比尔！那对你大有好处。
比尔：（闷闷不乐，勉强开玩笑）我那样是省下了另一个人的膝盖。他跪在我脑袋上了。就是那样。
芭芭拉：谁跪在你脑袋上了？
比尔：费尔。他为我祈祷：图舒服就拿我当了垫子。莫格也为我祈祷，还有开会的那伙儿人。莫格说：“哦，主啊，打垮他那股横劲儿；宽恕他那颗好心肠吧。”她就是这么说的，“宽恕他的好心肠吧。”她那个汉子——一百八十六磅啊！——就那么整个儿压在我身上。可笑吧，是不是？
珍妮：哦，不。我们很抱歉，沃克先生。
芭芭拉：（明显觉得带劲儿）胡说！当然可笑。你这是自找的，比尔！一定是你先招惹人家的。
比尔：（固执地）我就按先前说的那样做的。我对着他眼睛啐了一口。他抬头看看天说，“哦。为了福音书的缘故。我是值得上给人家啐一口了！”莫格接着说：“一切荣耀归于圣主！”然后他叫我兄弟，跟着就把我撂倒，好像我是个小孩而他是我妈妈，就像礼拜六晚上给我洗澡那样。我一点儿还手的力气都没有。街上的人一半祈祷，另一半肚皮都笑破了。（对芭芭拉）这样，你总算痛快了吧？
芭芭拉：（眼睛里闪着光芒）我要在那儿就好了，比尔。
比尔：是啊，那样你又多个额外的机会说我了，对不对？
珍妮：我很抱歉，沃克先生。
比尔：（狠狠地）别可怜我，没这个必要。听着，我可是打烂了你的嘴。
珍妮：不，那没伤到我，确实没有，就疼了一小会儿。我是被你吓着了。
比尔：我不要你原谅我，不要任何人原谅。一人做事一人当。为了补偿你，我就想找个人打烂我的嘴——
珍妮：（难过地）哦，别——
比尔：（不耐烦地）我告诉你，你就不能先好好听着？我弄到现在不过是在大街上出了个洋相。好，这样不能给你出气，我还有办法。听着！为防霜冻我攒了两个英镑，现在只剩一个了。上个星期我一个伙计和他那未婚妻吵起来。他揍了她；结果被罚了十五个先令。他有权力打她因为他们就要结婚了，但是我没有权力打你，所以我再掏五个先令，凑成一个金镑给你。（他拿出一镑金币）这是钱，拿着，别再跟我说什么宽恕啊，祷告啊，还有你的少校别再数落我。我打也打了，赔也赔了，这事儿完了。
珍妮：哦，我不能要，沃克先生。但如果你能拿一两个先令给可怜的拉米·米庆斯就太好了！你确实伤害了她，她上年纪了。
比尔：（轻蔑地）这不大可能。我要再看见她还得揍她。谁叫她威胁要去告我！她并没有原谅我，没原谅多少。我打了她心里也没什么难过——就像她（指芭芭拉）说的我的良心——只不过像宰头猪。你们玩的这套基督教的把戏可别和我耍，什么该死的宽恕，啰里啰唆，唠唠叨叨，令人叫苦不迭，好像活着反倒成了负担。我说我可不吃这一套，所以把你的钱拿走，别再拿你那破脸傻傻地对着我了。
珍妮：少校，我可以收下一点儿给救世军吗？
芭芭拉：不，救世军是不能被收买的。我们要的是你的灵魂，比尔，其他什么都不行。
比尔：（辛辣地）我知道。这还不够。我和我这点儿钱对你算什么？你是伯爵大人的外孙女，错不了。一百金镑以下你怎么会看上眼？
安德谢夫：好了，芭芭拉！你能用一百镑做很多好事。如果你收下这位先生的钱能叫他良心过得去。我愿意出另外九十九镑。（比尔为这种豪举打动，不由地向他举手致礼）
芭芭拉：哦，您太奢侈了，爸爸。比尔肯出二十个银元，您再出十个就够收买任何人的标准价了。但对我不行，救世军也不行。（对着比尔）你不会安宁的，比尔，除非你加入我们。你的灵魂要被救赎，这是你挡不住的。
比尔：（阴郁地）我挡不住音乐堂里摔跤的——还有那些环舌的女人。我已经主动赔偿了。这可是极限。随你们收不收，钱放这儿了。（他把金镑丢到鼓上，然后坐在马槽上。那金币让势利鬼普赖斯神魂颠倒，他赶快瞅了个机会把帽子扣在上面）（贝恩斯太太从屋里出来。她穿着救世军专员的制服，年纪在四十左右，面容诚恳真挚，嗓音亲切而急迫，举止有感人的力量）
芭芭拉：这是我父亲，贝恩斯太太。（安德谢夫从桌子那边走过来，脱帽致意彬彬有札）您看看能做点什么。我的话他不听，因为他总忘不了我很小的时候是个傻瓜。（她留下他们，和珍妮聊天去了）
贝恩斯太太：你参观过收容所了吗，安德谢夫先生？当然你是知道我们的工作的。
安德谢夫：（非常客气地）全世界都知道，贝恩斯太太。
贝恩斯太太：不，先生，他们不知道，否则我们就不会因为缺钱而处处举步维艰了。我告诉你吧，要不是有我们，今年冬天伦敦早就该发生暴动了。
安德谢夫：你真的这么认为？
贝恩斯太太：我是知道的。我记得1886年，你们这些富人硬着心肠对穷人置之不理。他们砸碎了你们在派尔大街俱乐部的窗户。
安德谢夫：（对他们的方法似有嘉许之意）第二天，伦敦市长官邸的房屋救济金就从三万镑涨到七万九千镑！我记得很清楚。
贝恩斯太太：那么，您能不能帮我救救穷人呢？那样他们就不会再砸你们的窗户了。过来，普赖斯。来给这位先生看看（普赖斯过来受检查）你还记得砸窗事件吗？
普赖斯：我那老父亲认为那是革命，夫人。
贝恩斯太太：现在你还想砸窗子吗？
普赖斯：哦，不了，夫人。天堂的窗户已经为我敞开了。我现在知道阔人也和我一样，都是犯了罪的人。
拉米：（在阁楼门那儿出现）势利鬼普赖斯！
普赖斯：什么事？
拉米：你妈妈在克里普斯胡同口那儿要见你。她听说你忏悔的事儿了。（普赖斯面色苍白）
贝恩斯太太：去吧，普赖斯，和她一起祈祷。
珍妮：就从屋子穿过去吧，势利鬼。
普赖斯：（对贝恩斯太太）我现在实在没脸见她，夫人，深重的罪孽压着我呢。告诉她她儿子回家了，在家祷告等着她呢。（他偷偷闪到前门，经过大鼓时赶着取帽子的当口，把那一镑金币偷走了）
贝恩斯太太：（眼里带着话）您现在明白我们是怎么消除穷人对你们的愤恨了吧，安德谢夫先生。
安德谢夫：这对所有大雇主来说肯定是再方便不过了，他们会感激你的，贝恩斯太太。
贝恩斯太太：芭芭拉，珍妮，我有好消息，最好的消息。（珍妮跑到她身边）我祷告的事儿上帝答应了。我告诉你他们会的，珍妮，不是吗？
珍妮：是，是。
芭芭拉：（靠近大鼓一点）我们有钱来维持这个收容所了，对吗？
贝恩斯太太：我希望能有钱来维持所有的收容所。萨斯满德汉姆男爵答应捐五千镑——
芭芭拉：万岁！
珍妮：光荣！
贝恩斯太太：如果——
芭芭拉：“如果”，如果什么？
贝恩斯太太：如果有另外五位先生愿意每人出一千镑，这样凑成一万才行。
芭芭拉：萨斯满德汉姆男爵是谁？我从没听说过他。
安德谢夫：（侧耳听到这位新贵的名字，于是好奇地注视着芭芭拉）是新近册封的，亲爱的。你听说过贺瑞斯·鲍杰尔吧？
芭芭拉：鲍杰尔！你是指那个造酒的吗？鲍杰尔的威士忌！
安德谢夫：对了，就是他！他是数一数二的公益事业赞助人。他重修了哈金顿教堂，他们就封了他副男爵。他另出了五百万给他的党，这不，他就是男爵了。
舍尔利：这回再捐五千又该封什么呢？
安德谢夫：没什么封的了。所以这五千，我想，应当是为了拯救他的灵魂。
贝恩斯太太：上帝保佑，但愿如此！哦，安德谢夫先生，您可有些很阔气的朋友。能否帮我们解决一下这另外的五千元的问题？今天下午我们要在一里路的大会议厅举行盛大集会。如果我能宣布已经有一位先生出来响应萨斯满德汉姆男爵了，其他人就会跟着来的。您认识什么热心人吗？能帮帮我们吗？可以吗？（眼里含泪）哦，想想那些穷人们吧，安德谢夫先生，想想这些对他们来说是多么重要，而对像您这样的大人物来说，这又是多么微不足道。
安德谢夫：（仗义，又带着讥讽）贝恩斯太太，您真是不可抗拒啊。我不能叫您失望，而且我也不想放过这个叫鲍杰尔破费的机会。我出五千镑。
贝恩斯太太：感谢上帝！
安德谢夫：你就不谢谢我吗？
贝恩斯太太：哦，先生，别这样冷嘲热讽，也别以为做善人很丢脸。主会赐你无限的福音；而我们的祷告会紧紧地护佑着你，保你今生今世平安。（有些不放心）您能把支票开给我，下午叫大家看看吗？珍妮，进去拿钢笔和墨水来。（珍妮向屋里跑去）
安德谢夫：不必麻烦希尔小姐了，我有自来水笔。（珍妮停下。他坐在桌边填支票。库恩斯站起来给他让位。大伙儿都默默望着他）
比尔：（私下对芭芭拉冷言相讥，但语音语调可怕地低落下来）这回救赎可卖上大价钱了啊？
芭芭拉：住手。（安德谢夫停下，他们都惊讶地看着她）贝恩斯太太，您真的打算收这笔钱？
贝恩斯太太：（惊讶地）为什么不呢，亲爱的？
芭芭拉：为什么不！？您知道我父亲是干什么的吗？您忘了萨斯满德汉姆男爵就是那个做威士忌的鲍杰尔吗？难道您忘了他拿火光组成“鲍杰尔的威士忌”几个大字升到天空，为的是叫河岸边那些可怜的醉鬼一觉醒来看见那恶毒的招牌，就又想去喝他那毒药，而我们又是怎样恳求地方议会禁止他这样做广告的吗？您不知道我在这里斗争的最大敌人不是魔鬼，而是鲍杰尔，鲍杰尔，鲍杰尔，他的威士忌，他的那些造酒厂和代销店？您不是打算要把我们的收容所变成他的另一个代销店，而让我来看管着吧？
比尔：那也是一喝就醉的破烂威士忌。
贝恩斯太太：亲爱的芭芭拉，和我们每个人一样，萨满德汉姆男爵也是一个等待被拯救的灵魂。如果上帝想了个法子教他把钱用到正道上来，我们为什么还要拒绝祷告得来的恩典呢？
芭芭拉：我知道他的灵魂也要被拯救。让他到这来啊，我一定竭尽全力帮他救赎自己。但他要的是花一张支票收买下我们，然后还像以前一样作恶。
安德谢夫：似乎言之成理，（只有库恩斯知道他在挖苦人）我亲爱的芭芭拉，酒是不能少的东西。它能治病——
芭芭拉：没那档子事。
安德谢夫：那么，这样说总合适些了吧，它帮着大夫治病。没有了酒，千百万人清醒过来就无法忍受生活了。它让国会在晚上十一点干出的事儿，正常人早上十一点都干不来。可悲地是百分之一的穷人滥用了这一无价之宝，这怪得了鲍杰尔吗？（他回到桌子，签了支票，划上了钩）
贝恩斯太太：芭芭拉，如果我们正在救济的这些穷人明天来一看，发现所有救济所的门都关了，你说会有更少的人喝酒呢，还是更多？萨斯满德汉姆男爵给我们钱是使人们戒酒——哪怕自己做不成生意。
库恩斯：（顽皮地）完全是鲍杰尔的自我牺牲，显而易见！上帝保佑亲爱的鲍杰尔！（库恩斯也这样令她失望，芭芭拉几乎要崩溃）
安德谢夫：（撕下支票并将票本装进口袋。然后站起身从库恩斯身旁经过，走向贝恩斯太太）我这样做也可以说是不顾私利的，贝恩斯太太。想想我做的生意，想想那些寡妇孤儿！想想那些男人，小伙子们给榴散弹炸得血肉横飞，再加上细菌弹中毒，（贝恩斯太太不禁畏缩，但他带着愧色继续）鲜血流成海洋，却没有一滴是为了正义的事业！地里糟蹋掉的粮食！农民们本来平安无事，如今却忍饥挨饿还要在敌军的炮火下耕田种地！再看看国内那群嚣张的懦夫，可恨的是为了满足他们的民族自尊心却叫别人当炮灰！这一切却叫我赚钱，报纸上充斥这些消息的时候就是我最来钱，最忙碌的时候。然而，你们的工作却是宣扬世界太平人人和睦。（贝恩斯太太脸上又高兴起来）你们多劝一个人信教，就多一个人反对战争。（她嘴唇翕动，小声祷告）然而我还是要把钱给你。
库恩斯：（以一种恶作剧的狂欢态登上板凳）这个新千年就要以安德谢夫和鲍杰尔两位先生的大公无私开始了。来，让我们庆祝！（他从衣袋里掏出鼓槌，舞弄了一番）
贝恩斯太太：（接过支票）我活得岁数越大，就越有理由相信迟早会有一个至善的力量拯救世间的一切。谁能想到打仗的和造酒的也会做好事呢？他们赚来的钱如今也用来拯救，用来做神圣的事业。（她感动得流泪）
珍妮：（跑到贝恩斯太太面前双手搂住她）哦，亲爱的！这一切太幸福，太光荣了！
库恩斯：（讥讽地，跟着起哄）让我们抓住这无以言表的时刻。让我们立刻向会场进发。对不起，我一会儿就来。（他跑进屋里，珍妮从大鼓上拿过她的小手鼓）
贝恩斯太太：安德谢夫先生，您见过上千的人带着一个念头跪下来祷告吗？请您同我们一起去开会吧。芭芭拉会告诉他们，救世军在您的关照下得救了。
库恩斯：（急匆匆地从屋里出来，拿着一面大旗和一个长喇叭。他来到贝恩斯太太和安德谢夫中间）您打大旗走第一道街吧，贝恩斯太太（他把旗子递给她），安德谢夫先生是天才长号手，他一定能把我们的《西海姆救世军进行曲》吹得像奥林匹亚圣曲一样。（对安德谢夫私语，一边把长喇叭塞到他手里）吹吧，马基雅弗利，吹吧。
安德谢夫：（一边接过长喇叭，一边对他私语）简直是犹太人会师锡安山！（库恩斯跑到鼓边，拿起来挂上。安德谢夫接着大声说）我会尽力的。如果知道调子，我还能即兴编个低音部。
库恩斯：调子用的是唐尼塞提歌剧里的一段婚礼进行曲，但我改编过了。在这儿我们把什么都变成好的，包括鲍杰尔。您记得那个合唱曲吧？“为了你无限欢欣——欢歌笑语——欢歌笑语。”（带着必不可少的鼓声）蹦踏踢踏踏，踏踏踢哒——
芭芭拉：多理，你把我的心伤透了。
库恩斯：伤心在这儿算是什么？酒神安德谢夫下凡来。我着魔了。
贝恩斯太太：好了，芭芭拉，我还得请亲爱的少校您和我一起举大旗呢。
珍妮：是，是，我们亲爱的少校。
库恩斯：（从珍妮手中抢过小手鼓，默然地递给芭芭拉）
芭芭拉：（把手鼓往后一撂，打了个冷战，一边向前走了几步，这时库恩斯慌忙把手鼓掷给芭芭拉，向门口走去）我不能去。
珍妮：不能去！？
贝恩斯太太：（眼里含泪）芭芭拉，你还是觉得我不该收这钱吗？
芭芭拉：（不由地走到她面前，吻她）不，不！愿上帝保佑你，亲爱的，您一定得收下，您拯救了救世军。去吧，我希望大会成功！
珍妮：但是您去吗？
芭芭拉：不去。（她从制服上摘下“救”字银领章）
贝恩斯太太：芭芭拉你这是干什么？
珍妮：您摘下领章干什么？您不能离开我们，少校。
芭芭拉：（平静地）爸爸请您过来。
安德谢夫：（走到她近前）亲爱的！（意识到芭芭拉是要把“救”字领章别在他的领子上，他慌忙往棚子里退去）
芭芭拉：（跟着他）您别害怕。（她别上了领章，退回到桌旁，让大家看看他）看着啊，五千镑买这个可不是大数目啊，对吗？
贝恩斯太太：芭芭拉，如果你不想来和我们一起祷告，答应我你会为我们祈祷。
芭芭拉：我现在不能祷告。也许我再也不会祷告了。
贝恩斯太太：芭芭拉！
珍妮：少校！
芭芭拉：（几近疯狂地）我再也受不了了，你们快走吧！
库恩斯：（对着街外边的游行队伍）咱们走吧。吹打起来，来！“欢——歌——笑——语”。（他用鼓打起拍子，乐队奏起进行曲。队伍很快走远了，乐声渐息）
贝恩斯太太：我必须走了，亲爱的。你是太累了。明天就会好的。我们永远不会失去你。来，珍妮，扛起这老旗出发吧。“血与火”！（她打起旗子出了门）
珍妮：一切荣耀归于上帝！（打起小手鼓前进）
安德谢夫：（一边走一边抽滑着喇叭管，对库恩斯）“我的金子，我的女儿！”
库恩斯：（跟着他出来）金钱和火药！
芭芭拉：酗酒和谋杀！我的主啊，为何你要舍弃我？（她坐在凳子上，脸埋在两手中间。队伍走远一切归于沉寂。比尔·沃克悄悄来到她身边）
比尔：（嘲弄地）救灵魂又卖上大价钱了，呃？
舍尔利：你就别趁人之危了。
比尔：她不也趁人之危了？！为什么我不能以牙还牙？
芭芭拉：（抬起头）我没拿你的钱，比尔。（她穿过院子走到门口，背对着他们不让他们瞧见自己的脸）
比尔：（跟在背后讥笑她）哦，那是因为你嫌少。（对着鼓，没看见金币）怪了！你要没拿就是别人拿了。钱怎么不见了？归根到底还是珍妮·希尔拿了，保准不错！
拉米：（从阁楼口对着他尖叫）撒谎，你这混账流氓！是“势利鬼”普赖斯拿帽子的时候顺手捏走的。我一直在这儿没动，亲眼见他做的。
比尔：什么？偷我的钱！你为什么不喊捉贼。你这老不死的无赖？
拉米：为报你打我耳光的仇。打人花了你一金镑啊，小子。（为这不光彩的胜利唱起了凯歌）我也治了你，扯平了。我报仇雪恨了——（比尔抄起舍尔利的杯子就向她砸去。她好在带上门没影了。杯子碰在门板上，碎片落了一地）
比尔：（开始吃吃地笑）你说说啊，老头子，那个“势利鬼”普赖斯今早几时被救的灵魂啊？
芭芭拉：（回过头对着他，更加镇定，一样地亲切）大概是十二点半的样子，比尔。他是两点差一刻偷走你那镑钱的。我明白，你丢不起那一镑钱。我一会儿给你还上。
比尔：（音调声音突然提高）我饿死也不要你钱。我是收买不来的。
舍尔利：是吗？一品脱啤酒你就把自己卖给魔鬼了，可惜魔鬼还不愿出这个价要你。
比尔：（不以为耻）我会的，伙计，而且是乐乐呵呵地。但是她收买不了啊。（凑近芭芭拉）你不是要我的灵魂吗，呃？那你可得不到。
芭芭拉：我差一点儿就得到了，比尔。可是我们为了一万英镑又卖国给你啦。
舍尔利：哦，那价可真是贵了！
芭芭拉：不，彼得，灵魂比钱贵重。
比尔：（怎么也不信救赎这一套）没用的，你这回可圈不住我了。我不信，今天亲眼见了更证明我没错。（走）再见，老要饭的！谢谢啦，伯爵的外孙女儿。（在门口回过头）救世军干什么来着？救“势利鬼”的！哈哈！哈哈！
芭芭拉：（伸出手来）再见，比尔。
比尔：（吃了一惊，帽子脱下一半，又对抗似地按在头上）少来这套。（芭芭拉放下手，沮丧万分。他突然觉着良心刺痛）但是那没什么，你要知道。咱俩无冤无仇。再见，姑娘。（他走下）
芭芭拉：无冤无仇。再见，比尔。
舍尔利：（摇摇头）你太看重他了，小姐，因为你的天真。
芭芭拉：（走向他）彼得，现在我们一样了。一无所有，工作也丢了。
舍尔利：你有青春和希望。这两样比我强。
芭芭拉：我要给你找个工作，彼得。那就是你的希望，而我只要青春就够了。（她数自己的钱）正好够我俩上洛克哈特喝点茶，你住罗敦店栈，两张电车票回家。（他皱皱眉，带着受伤的自尊站起身来。她抓住他的手臂）别清高了，彼得，这是朋友间的分享。答应和我聊聊，别叫我哭。（她拉着他向门口走）
舍尔利：但是，我不习惯谈话，和你们这种人——
芭芭拉：（急切地）是，是，你一定得和我谈。告诉我汤姆·潘恩的书，还有布拉德劳夫的演讲。走吧。
舍尔利：啊，只要你能以合适的态度来读汤姆·潘恩，小姐！（他们一齐出门）
作者介绍
乔治·萧伯纳（George Bernard Shaw），爱尔兰剧作家，1925年因为作品具有理想主义和人道主义而获诺贝尔文学奖，是英国现代杰出的现实主义戏剧作家，是世界著名的擅长幽默与讽刺的语言大师。
核心单词
blaspheme [blAs5fi：m] v. 亵渎(神祗)；咒骂；辱骂
eternity [i(：)5tE：niti] n. 永远，永恒；不朽
interfere [7intE5fiE] v. 妨碍；冲突；抵触
teetotaler [ti：5tEutElE(r)] n. 绝对禁酒者，禁酒主义者
aggravation [7A^rE5veiFEn] n. 加重，加剧，恶化
名句诵读
Not that kind of snob，but the genteel sort.
不是那种势利的人，而是优雅的那种。
Why should you？ My own father’s a Secularist，I think. Our Father— yours and mine—fulfils himself in many ways；and I daresay he knew what he was about when he made a Secularist of you.
你干嘛要否认呢？我父亲就是一个世俗论者。我们的父亲，我们的主，会通过各种方法来完成他的意愿。我敢肯定地说，他把你变成一个世俗论者，他知道目的是什么。